Spat ahoy! The latest celeb fight is between Britney – I forget her second name – and Jeremy Timberlake, her former squeeze.
I haven't followed the career of Jeremy – Justin? Jimmy? – all that closely, but am familiar with his name (obviously) and so was surprised to learn that a recent concert was his first in five years.
Well, now he's back and here's the dope: during his pre-Super Bowl concert in yonder New Orleans, Mr Timberlake allegedly referred to Britney as – avert your ears, Martha! – a b****.
If, like me, you're having trouble working out what the b-word is, it's "b****", which hardly strikes me as A-league swearing, particularly as the paper that got its asterisks out showed the word further down in a reproduced tweet. Nothing funnier than the pretendy coyness of prurient papers.
In full, Jeremy averred: "Sometimes in life, you think you found the one. But then one day you find out she is just some b****." Profound stuff, son.
Jeremy has since said he was only speaking generally and, so far, Britney hasn't hit back. She's already said to be receiving counselling after one paper accused her of wearing "smudged eyeliner".
Worse still, she says her dog, Hannah, has been tweeting to ask if she can gamble. Stupid b****. The dog, I mean.