Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 16 April 2014

Why the long face Kylie, it's just gravity

Kylie Minogue

Science news, and Kylie Minogue has been startled after encountering first-hand - or face - the effects of gravity.

The singer with the wickedly quizzical eyebrows looked in her glittering mirror, shrieked and announced: "Gravity has taken hold!" Yup, that's what the evil force-field has a habit of doing, I'm afraid.

On the other hand, or face, it does stop tables and so forth from levitating all over the shop.

The People's Kylie says she sometimes forgets she's 44. Then, once more, she's drawn to the mirror and, according to her: "I see 94 not 44".

Controversially, she added in a scoop interview with a magazine whose name I forget: "Midriff tops are definitely out for good."

It's a shame for the lassie, really. At the time of going to press, no one can stay young for ever and she'll just have to deal with it and age gracefully or with botox.

Indeed, these nice people who leave comments online have rushed to claim that her coupon is already stuffed with filling or filled with stuffing. Kylie denies this, though she doesn't look quite herself in the magazine's cover photo. More like Jerry Hall really.

If only gravity would airbrush our faces as well as anchoring us to the planet's surface. Maybe then we'd appreciate it more.

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