Belfast Telegraph

Sunday 20 April 2014

You'll get no argument from me on marriage being a battlefield

It is my firm but ill thought-out view that newly married couples should be given lessons in the fine art of bickering.

My own anthropological researches reveal that regular bickering makes for a strong marriage, whereas those which are all sweetness and light quickly go sour and dark at the first major disagreement over what else is on the television apart from Strictly Come Dancing.

Proper, official research by betterbathrooms.com (no, I'm not kidding) revealed that married couples argue on average 312 times a year.

Women, you'll be surprised to learn, are more argumentative than men, getting particularly het up over matters lavatorial, such as failing to replace a loo roll and, of course, forgetting to put the lavatory seat up. Or is it down? I can never remember.

Men get understandably irritated at women leaving tissues around the house and banging on about chores.

However, men - it says here - are generally more relaxed.

Can't argue with that.