I pity the organisers of Sunday night's MTV Video Music Awards. What a bunch of spoilt, pampered brats they had to contend with. No, I'm not talking about the audience. I'm referring to the antics of certain pop tarts and himbos.
Country singer Taylor Swift (19) was graciously accepting her trophy when pop-idiot Kanye West rushed onstage and grabbed the microphone right out of the startled starlet's hands.
He then went on to tell the audience that Beyonce should have won the award instead. But Kanye had misjudged the mood of the crowd.
A chorus of booing followed his verbal assault on Miss Swift. Poor Taylor must have been heartened by their support but she still didn't know where to look.
Kanye appeared to be swigging brandy neat from a bottle. Though I wouldn't be surprised if the brandy turned out to be iced tea, and the entire thing was a carefully contrived publicity stunt. (Remind me to consider something similar the next time they're handing out book awards in London. I'll elbow Cecelia Ahern to one side and run amok with a bottle of Buckfast.)
Pink, that pocket-rocket of a punk princess, was so angry she had to be held back by security staff. She later wrote on her blog, "Kanye West is the biggest piece of s*** on earth. Quote me." Katy Perry went one better, writing, "F*** u, Kanye," on her blog. Beyonce was said to be mortified. Though she was pictured apparently smiling. She later brought Taylor Swift back onstage and the two women embraced warmly, both wearing red frocks.
Kanye West was ejected from the venue. Mind you, what does he care? He's made a fool of himself more than once at these shindigs yet always manages to secure another invite. Just for the record (pardon the pun) Kanye's date for the night seemed to be distinctly unimpressed. It can't be easy to look quite so miserable in a skin-tight, snake-print body stocking, killer heels and a severe crew cut.
Have these so-called icons of pop lost the run of themselves entirely? Does Kanye West have any idea how much he resembles an obnoxious little brat with a personality disorder? We're not buying your cool guy image any more, Kanye.
You've got all the charm and charisma of a two-year-old who's just dropped his ice cream on the beach.
And as for Pink and Katy Perry's considered reaction! Swearing on Twitter? Well, how very anarchic! Rock'n'roll, baby!
Maybe it's an age thing but I do wonder how the 'youth of today' are ever going to learn any manners. How are they going to cope in the world? If they go around thinking it's acceptable to disrupt social occasions, drink neat brandy and swear on Twitter!
Perhaps instead of the Jeremy Vile/Kyle Show, the TV companies should start screening Jimmy Stewart movies? For it's probably the 1940s since we all used correct grammar, polite language, gracious body language or even gave up our seats on the bus for a pensioner.
I never could stand those bulked-up rap dudes with their baggy tracksuits and their soft-porn videos. I never could understand the massive sense of entitlement that seems to envelop some artists the nano-second they get a chart hit.
You just know they wouldn't last five minutes in the real world, not without their mammy and their bodyguards to drive them around and tell them when to eat and sleep.
With his appalling attitude and complete disregard for any sense of occasion, Kanye West wouldn't get a job stacking shelves in a supermarket. And why do so many pop-idiots have to wear dark glasses indoors? Is it because they're afraid we might see them looking ever so slightly confused and bewildered on the red carpet?
As for Beyonce, Pink and Katy Perry, well, I might take the three of them more seriously if they didn't all play the pop game themselves.
Sexed-up out of all proportion, shaking their booty and winking naughtily and blowing kisses willy-nilly. It seems a girl still has to dress like a circus act if she wants to get ahead in showbusiness. Yes, she might have a great voice and be a great dancer but she's going nowhere unless she bares a little (or a lot) of flesh.
As for Kanye? As I said, the bouncers escorted him out. Woo, woo! Why didn't they bung him 'in the mental' like they did with poor Britney Spears and Mischa Barton? When they misbehaved recently they were whisked off to a secure unit before you could say 'sex discrimination'. I'm telling you, it's still a man's world when all's said (and sung) and done.