It's a ref job, but at £2 a minute it does have its attractions
Wanted: referees for Irish League. Uniform provided including selection of coloured cards and whistle. Pay: £170 per game. Benefits: 30p a mile travel allowance and free post-match hospitality. Essential criteria: must attain a satisfactory level of fitness. Desirable criteria: an ability to turn a deaf ear to the 'encouragement' coming from spectators will be an advantage.
Also having a skin the thickness of an armadillo's hide is required unless you really are unsure of your parentage and your eyesight is fractionally below the standard required for a fighter pilot. A full-time job that does not involve meeting the public at any time.