A game of Ever Decreasing Circles up on the hill
Have you heard about the new comedy game show on local television? It's a cross between The Blame Game and Panic Attack - it's entitled Ever Decreasing Circles.
There are two teams - DUP and Sinn Fein - although several other disillusioned teams of comparable ability who would like to take part.
The object of this shambolic game is to score as many cheap, sanctimonious and self-centred points as possible.
Arguments can be made by both teams of politicians using orange or green joker cards. These can be played at any time provided a full quota of TV, radio and newspaper reporters are present for maximum 'look at us' effect.
Partial red herrings can also be used to block the opposing teams progress, such as 'full decommissioning of terrorist weapons' (used for nearly 10 years) and now superseded by 'policing and justice issues' - whatever that means.
This new game show can be played every day and night, except Sundays, unless you are involved in clandestine talks with the Conservative Party and the UUP (or are these two one and the same now?).
Since Easter 1998, almost 12 years ago, several hundred million pounds of taxpayers' money has been spent on our elected politicians' salaries, expenses, second homes, double and triple-jobbing, family employees and, of course, a sprinkling of sharp business practice, scandal and hypocrisy.
This political gameshow should now be scrapped immediately - the only winners being the teams pretending to take part. As for the rest of us, Ever Decreasing Circles has shrunk to a dot - and when that appears on your television set you always switch off.