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Children must learn responsibility goes with rights

Monday, 9 March 2009

I must challenge the nonsense coming from the Northern Ireland Children's Commissioner, Patricia Lewsley.

When asked whether she made any distinction between physical abuse, where someone deliberately sets out to harm a child, and a loving parent smacking their child in the hope it would make them a better person, Ms Lewsley stated: “No. Children have told us that hitting is humiliating. Even though they would say their parents are loving and caring, it is still humiliating.”

Ms Lewsley advocates the ‘time out’ method as one alternative to smacking. As the father of three, I wonder about the practicalities of such a method in, for example, a busy shopping centre or walking beside a main road, when one child throws a tantrum.

In such fraught circumstances, could a toddler really be led to understand that they needed time out, to ‘consider their actions,’ or to think about the possible dangers? I doubt it. The whole idea is ridiculous.

Ms Lewsley says she did not want to drag parents through the courts, but just how she is going to ban smacking without criminalising parents who smack is not explained.

She talks about ‘positive parenting strategies’. To date, Ms Lewsley's madcap desire to ban parents’ rights to discipline their own children by smacking has cost the Northern Ireland taxpayer £200,000. Money well spent in these credit crunch times? I think not.

No good parent would support a brutish use of force through the merciless use of the strap or a beating to discipline a child. Most parents believe, as I do, that the timely use of the odd smack or two may be used to instil self-discipline, foster good manners and bring about sensible appropriate behaviour.

Interestingly, Ms Lewsley also states, that while she taught children about their rights she did not see it as her role to teach them about their responsibilities. Is this the type of selfish future society we wish to promote, where people know all about their rights, but not their responsibilities? With leadership from the likes of Ms Lewsley this is where we are headed, if not there already.

T J McClean

Belfast

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Patricia Lewsley....catch yourself on, parents have enough trouble trying to raise their children into decent individuals without taking the right to discipline them away from the parents. Is it any wonder that adolescents are becoming more out of control?? Do parents have any rights?? Anyone who advocates this madness obviously isn't doing that for the right reasons....they are trying to take parental control away from parents and into the hands of, at best, a secular government! That is quite clearly not the way forward. Regards,

Nathy(Dungannon)

Posted by Nathan | 10.03.09, 18:24 GMT

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Patricia Lewsley....catch yourself on, parents have enough trouble trying to raise their children into decent individuals without taking the right to discipline them away from the parents. Is it any wonder that adolescents are becoming more out of control?? Do parents have any rights?? Anyone who advocates this madness obviously isn't doing that for the right reasons....they are trying to take parental control away from parents and into the hands of, at best, a secular government! That is quite clearly not the way forward. Regards,

Nathy(Dungannon)

Posted by Nathan | 10.03.09, 18:02 GMT

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I'm afraid TJ that's it's too late for many. They've already been taught their rights without responsibility.
Why do you think that we've had an increase in knife crime, indiscipline in schools, ADHD etc?

Posted by robbo | 09.03.09, 19:25 GMT

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All the legislation in the world will not control brute parents. Neighbourhood vigilance is an answer. Most children take a more sensible view of parental relationships than the silly Commissioner. See how they take the mickey out of 'Childline' with complaints, involving extended use of their mobile phones.

Posted by Malachy McAnespie | 09.03.09, 10:49 GMT

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