Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 28 August 2014

Gail Walker: ultimate guide to 'other side'

'They will drive miles in winter for an ice-cream.' Unashamedly guilty as charged. I wish I had a quid for every Sunday we took a wee run to Bangor and ate ice-cream watching the rain, the grey sea barely distinguishable from the grey clouds. The odd thing was, we seemed to go more frequently in the winter than the summer.

OX38655

Very good, Gail. The only point of clarification is 'Prawds like four-strokes and Kethlicks like two-strokes'. Straight up and on the level (with one trouser leg rolled up), an old colleague informed me that it was statistically probable that a drive-by assassination attempt on a motorbike would be republican if a two-stroke was used and loyalist if a four-stroke.

Emmet Grogan

Emmet Grogan: 'One trouser leg rolled up.' Brilliant. Is that so your trousers don't catch fire on the exhaust? My uncle had a 500cc (four-stroke) AJS and a NSU Quickly (two-stroke), so he'd be a bit hard to classify then, I suppose.

OX38655

Great piece, Gail. Very funny. Above all else, we seem to still like to laugh at ourselves.

T42

Do Free Presbyterians still tie up the budgie's swing on a Sunday?

Reality Dawns

Reality Dawns: Yep, they do. And they stick a matchstick in the hamster's wheel so it won't turn; can't take the dog for a walk, either. And the parrot can only sing hymns on a Sunday morning.

OX38655

OX38655: Maybe the trouser leg rolled up was a reference to the Masons. You're going back a few years with the AJS and the Quickly. The other things I heard about the differences was that the Prawds always put the toaster away, while the Kethlicks left theirs on the counter-top. Also, the Prawds washed fruit before eating, while the Kethlics ate theirs unwashed. Maybe the Kethlics had more faith in God that they wouldn't get food poisoning?

Rubadub12

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