When our marriage laws reflect equality, we will get 'gay marriage'. The law will call it 'marriage', but society won't.
If we call it 'gay marriage' in our lead-up to equality, what makes us think that it'll stop being 'gay marriage' after?
The right to marry is a basic human right. The phrases 'gay rights' and 'gay marriage' do nothing but further the misconception that we're looking for some form of preferential treatment.
'Gay rights' do not apply to everybody - human rights do.
It doesn't help when proponents of equality further the separation for the sake of catchy slogans. That separation is widening a divide on the basis of sexual orientation - a gap that we are trying to bridge.
What are the proponents of 'gay marriage' achieving? They are cementing the concept of difference based on sexual orientation. They are cementing the concept of a different type of marriage based on gender - a 'gay marriage'.
I'm not saying 'gay marriage' is a bad thing, but it's not an equal thing - marriage is. Marriage equality is.