Sunny Belfast Hi 23 °C | Lo 10°C

Take a leaf out of great writers' guide to happiness

Thursday, 19 May 2011

The author who wrote a bestselling guide to picking up girls has a new book in the shops. Neil Strauss's Everyone Loves You When You're Dead considers his interviews with the famous - mostly pop stars - and teases out lessons in life from them.

Cher believes we should trust our instincts. Jerry Lee Lewis is in favour of not dwelling on the past. Merle Haggard thinks we should live in truth.

The book has caused a mini-blizzard of publicity, but seems to be based on a flawed idea. Chuck Berry may have written some great songs, for example, but he would be some way from being my first choice as a life coach.

It is writers we should be turning to - those whose lives have been spent working on their own version of the truth. As it happens, I have been collecting material for The Great Writers' Guide To Life, Contentment and Everyday Wisdom for a few years now. Perhaps the time has arrived to share the main conclusions of literature's happiness gurus.

n 1. Remain innocent. Somerset Maugham may not be everyone's idea of a counsellor, but he was sound on the case for never quite growing up. "A novelist must preserve a child-like belief in the importance of things which commonsense considers of no importance," he wrote.

n 2. Know and admire yourself. "The main thing in life is to know who you are, to discover yourself," said John Fowles. But it was Trollope, that favourite novelist of Tory politicians, who pushed the idea a little further. "What man will do any good who is not conceited?" he asked. "Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself."

n 3. Do not be too free with your emotions. Philip Larkin's warning of the dangers of "giving in" to another person is somewhat uncompromising, but may work for some. "It's very easy to float along in a semi-submerged way, dissipating one's talent for pleasing by amusing and being affectionate," he wrote. "I find, myself, this letting-in of a second person spells death to perception and the desire to express."

n 4. Work brings happiness. The great writers tend to avoid owning up to happiness - something only amateurs and civilians tend to experience - but most of them agree that working brings some sort of contentment. "Work yourself all out to the limit of your passion for activities," was the advice of Ford Madox Ford.

n 5. Be intolerant towards time-wasters. Cyril Connolly warned sternly that one should beware of "charming failures" in life. Failure, he believed, is infectious. "Unless a writer is quite ruthless with these amiable footlers, they will drag him down with them."

n 6. Get used to being disappointed. Startlingly, it was Norman Mailer who suggested that we should "learn to live with the expectation of disappointment . . . You just want to keep the store going. You're not going to do as well this year as last year probably, but nonetheless, let's keep the store going."

n 7. Contrive a reason not to achieve what you want. Geoff Dyer came up with the perverse, yet wise, theory, that "people need to feel that they have been thwarted by circumstances from pursuing the life that, had they led it, they would not have wanted". The hamster not only loves his cage, but would be lost without it, Dyer argues.

n 8. Avoid fame. Few of those who have been issuing super-injunctions would disagree with John Updike's famous warning that "celebrity is a mask that eats into the face".

n 9. Do not become rich early in life. Another unlikely agony aunt, Sir Vidia Naipaul, has decreed that the age before which one should avoid being wealthy is 40.

n 10. Do not be too ruthless. Remember the regretful words of William Burroughs: "The things I had to do to do the things I had to do... I had to keep moving."

NiteLife: The Roost, Granny's, Bert's

Had a big night out? Click here to send your pics

Balmoral Show: Pictures and Results

Balmoral Show

In Pictures: North West 200

North West 200

Old School Pics: Alex Higgins

Old School

To launch gallery click image or select school below

Methodist College, Campbell College, Grosvenor,
Bangor Grammar, Dunlambert, St Augustine's,
St Dominic's, Royal Academy, Ballymena Academy

The Troubles: Northern Ireland's First Minister and Deputy First Minister

Gallery: Awesome images of Titanic

Gallery: Awesome images of Titanic

Teletoons by Stevie Lee

Teletoons by Stevie Lee

Follow us on Twitter

Out & About: The Garrick

Out & About: The Garrick

Columnist Comments

robert_fisk

The going price of getting away with murder... would $33m be enough?

La Clinton hath spoken. Thirty-three million smackers lopped off Pakistan's aid budget because its spooks banged up poor old Dr Shakeel Afridi for 33 years after a secret trial.

jane_graham

Why my kids feel Olympics are not the real thing now

I did quite well in my school exams, but the only thing for which I can confidently say I stood out like a beacon among my fellow pupils was my record-breaking 100-metres dash.
readers_editor

Think your money is legal tender? Don’t bank on it

Readers have a habit of shining spotlights on unexpected issues that throw up interesting queries. Or, on occasion, a downright can of worms.

eamon_mccann

World must open its eyes and see Israel for what it is

Why pick on Israel when there's so much injustice in the rest of the world? The answer is to be found in the specific circumstances which gave rise to the launch of the BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) campaign in July 2005.
liam_clarke

PR machine is driving Sinn Fein power push

Sinn Fein's ard fheis opens in Killarney tomorrow. Like most conferences held by successful political parties, it is a well-managed set-piece. It is a PR event and it is aimed at the voters watching on TV.
robert_mcneill

Why bringing up our kids should be child's play... or maybe it's not

Nurse, the screens! Yup, top experts have issued new warnings about kiddies watching nothing but tellies and computers, while real life flits by unnoticed outside.
Belfast Telegraph Home Delivery

When you visit this website www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk, we use cookies to enhance your browsing experience and serve you with advertisements which might interest you.

To find out more about cookies and how to manage them Click Here

TeleToons

Teletoons gallery by Stevie Lee

Latest Comments