Belfast Telegraph

The best revenge is to stop wallowing and get over it

By Celia Larkin

Why do people voluntarily splatter themselves across the newspapers? Holly Sweeney's recent interview on how Rory McIlroy broke her heart actually saddened me.

Not for the reasons you might think - that she was upset, hurt, broken-hearted - but because here's a young girl of 21 starting out in life, defining herself as somebody's ex-girlfriend.

Bad enough that she had to endure the tag directly after the break-up, but to pin it on herself like pinning on a donkey's tail is sheer madness.

If you've any sense, Holly, stop talking about him. Why position yourself as a bit player in someone else's life? Become the main player in your own.

Of course, Holly is heartbroken. Who wouldn't be? It's her first love. Six years she spent with Rory - and, given that she is only 21, that's an awfully long time.

You'd want to be made of stone not to feel for her. All her dreams and hopes gone up in smoke.

How do we know that? Because she told us. At length and in detail, she told us through the media megaphone at full volume.

But life moves on and you can bet your bottom dollar Rory is not sitting at home worrying about how he's perceived in the Holly scenario.

You know what they say - the best revenge is revenge served cold. It might take you a little time to get your act together. And yes, for you, Holly, it's all the more difficult because you have access to his every move via the media.

But you know what? You can turn the telly off; you can turn Twitter off; you can just not read about him in the papers. It's your own choice. Wallow or get over it.

My recommendation: find a way to show that he's not the be all and end all in your life. As the little rule book says: next.

It's a pity you wasted the chance to showcase how classy, dignified and desirable you are when recently recording the Come Dine With Me programme to be aired over Christmas. Using the programme to have a pop at Rory and his current beau, tennis ace Caroline Wozniacki, was not the best use of that opportunity. Fun or no fun, these things have a way of coming back to bite you.

And, again, if reports are correct, perhaps Rory was concerned for you and how you would be perceived - rather than how it might reflect on him - when he sent texts to you during filming requesting you to think again on your theme for your dinner party. After all, he understands the media, having grown up with it.

History, even recent history, is littered with women who have had to pick themselves up from the most humiliating of circumstances. (I'm sure there are lots of men out there who have suffered equally. But on this occasion, I am very much in the girls' corner.)

Think of Liz Hurley. Twice she's been publicly humiliated. Hugh Grant and the episode with the prostitute and later with Steve Bing, when he questioned the exclusivity of their relationship.

Has Liz complained, looked for sympathy, set herself up as a victim? No. If anything, she has only increased her popularity and stature by keeping a dignified silence.

Now there's a girl who first came to prominence as a girlfriend (Hugh Grant's) and moved nicely along to become her own woman.

Every situation in life is what you make of it.

Holly is a beautiful young woman who has her whole life ahead of her. It would be a pity if she was to allow the break-up of her first serious relationship to overshadow the possibility of a very bright future.

Because, regardless of who the players are, this is first and foremost about the break-up of a first love.

She should learn to blossom in her own sunlight, rather than wither in the shadow of someone else's.

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