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Say hello, wave goodbye
There are certain words when uttered that have the effect of you pursing your lips, tilting your head slightly to one side, and letting slip a little ‘hmmmm, I don't know' in Mavis Riley fashion.
Bad for Armagh, good for Argentina
If it's subliminal messages you want as a guide to the eventual winners of the Sam Maguire this summer, then get to the bookies straight away and back Dublin.
Farewell Alex Ferguson, your time is up
Breaking news. I can exclusively reveal, in Jim White style, that Sir Alex Ferguson is alive and well and did not pop his clogs last week.
It has been a cup and down week for Wigan and the two Robertos
A little bit of my love for the FA Cup returned on Saturday as Wigan Athletic completed the double for Manchester United by seeing off City.
Ronnie O'Sullivan's a Rocket but I'm loopy about him
Always knew I had a lot in common with Ronnie O'Sullivan. Yes, there is that shared God-given snooker talent (runner-up Ballymena and District Snooker League Division Three 2002) but now that I know he too is a huge fan of Homes Under The Hammer, we were clearly separated at birth.
To Hull and back with Jeff and the boys
With the Premier League's finish ending up more damp that a squid's undergarments, it was refreshing that the Championship reached such a chaotic conclusion on Saturday.
Irish Cup dresses up to impress everyone
Maybe it's just the end of the season and I'm a little giddy but well done to all concerned at BBCNI for their coverage of the Irish Cup Final on Saturday.
NFL Draft: Sport is OK in the US of A
It really should come as no surprise to us that a nation that insists on having 21 letters in its name is no stranger to the odd initial or three.
It's 2-0 to Yorkshire and Non Americans
And talking of global superpowers, it was good that another one made sure that the Americans weren't having things all their own way last week.
Fangs are just not what they used to be at Anfield
Our heartiest congratulations go to Alan Smith for clinching the 2013 Understatement of the Year competition.
ITV back at the Four of sporting world
There was a time when ITV was a major player when it came to sport on the telly. In fairness, that time was the 1970s, Dickie Davies and Brian Moore roamed the land and there seems to have been little on since, but this is changing
Never mind Paolo Di Canio, our cups runneth over with passion
I hail from Ballymena, a place where the words 'passion' and 'football' usually meant that there was heavy rain approaching the Showgrounds from the direction of Slemish.
Scott is great, but Alliss is the greatest
The words 'Great Scott' were last uttered in such shocked fashion by Dr Emmet Brown in Back to the Future but there wasn't a flux capacitor in sight as Ken hailed the win of Aussie Adam at the Masters on Sunday evening.
Klopp your hands for a great escape
Never mind all this talk of last-gasp survival and Harry Houdini, if it's a great escape you're after then naturally it's a German who is going to steal the show.
A lot of horsing around on Channel Four
You probably didn't notice, but Channel Four had acquired the rights to show the Grand National for the first time this year.
A dogged Rossi is just what the Doctor ordered
I don't know about you but there's nothing I love more of an evening than being out in the great outdoors watching men in leather do what they do best.
Oskar the grouch wins a blue for his language
The Boat Race – posh, sinewy, educated men messing about on the river watched by thousands of toffs and bemused ordinary folk – is a throwback to a bygone age of the Corinthian spirit of fair play, amateur dedication and a jolly good time had by all. And then you let an American in.
Ulster triumph on rocky road to Dublin
When you've waited since 1999 for a win in Dublin you don't mind having to hang on a wee bit longer for an Ulster victory, but beating Leinster is one thing it's quite another having to persuade the referee that this is allowed to happen.
Overheating nuts and an awful lot of Bull
Right from the outset I'd like to point out that my eagle-eyed reader will not have failed to notice that for the second week in a row I am going to discuss Formula One.
Beeb ensures that running costs are frozen solid
It is reassuring in these austere times that the guardians of the nation, the BBC, are cutting their cloth accordingly and confining their troops to base.
Belfast Telegraph Runher 2013
Video, pictures and finisihng times
Cannes femmes: Shayk and Ambrosio on red carpet
Radio One's Big Weekend
Three-day festival underway in Derry
FHM's sexiest women - Kunis knocks Tulisa off her perch
Latest Sport News
Proud Webber eyes World Cup new
When Rob Webber was forced to undergo a second shoulder operation last summer and went through "dark days" wondering what the future held, he never envisaged it would be captaining his country.
Bayern Munich leave Bourssia Dortmund flattened and in tears after magnificent Champions League final new
Arjen Robben provided the perfect answer to the doubters by scoring an 88th-minute winner to settle a brilliant Champions League final in favour of Bayern Munich at Wembley.
Schmidt signs off with title win
Leinster put past disappointments behind them to scoop an elusive RaboDirect PRO12 title in head coach Joe Schmidt's last game in charge, with a 24-18 win over Ulster.
Back to the drawing board for Ulster Rugby as Leinster crush Pro 12 title hopes
Leinster put past disappointments behind them to scoop an elusive RaboDirect PRO12 title in head coach Joe Schmidt's last game in charge.
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