Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 28 January 2015

Billy on the Box: Euro 2012 full of Eastern promise

A Dutch fan holds a replica UEFA  trophy during the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group B match between the Netherlands and Germany in Kharkiv, Ukraine, Wednesday, June 13, 2012
A Dutch fan holds a replica UEFA trophy during the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group B match between the Netherlands and Germany in Kharkiv, Ukraine, Wednesday, June 13, 2012
BERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 13: German soccer fans cheer during the match of their team's second match during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at a public viewing zone called 'fan mile' near the Brandenburg Gate on June 13, 2012 in Berlin, Germany. Germany won 2:1 versus Netherlands. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Portugal fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Euro 2012 mascot during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Portugese fans shows his support during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Danish fans enjoy the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Danish fans enjoy the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Portugal fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Portugal fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Portugal fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Portugal fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Danish fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: (EDITORS NOTE: A STARBURST FILTER WAS USED IN THE CREATION OF THIS IMAGE) A Danish fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Danish fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Danish fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Danish fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Danish fan enjoys the pre-match atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Denmark and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 13, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Cathy Fischer, girlfriend of Mats Hummels looks on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Joern Pollex/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Cathy Fischer, girlfriend of Mats Hummels looks on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Joern Pollex/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Netherlands fan wears clogs during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans enjoy the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans enjoy the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Germany are given support prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Germany fan has her face painted prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Netherlands fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Germany are given support prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Lars Baron/Bongarts/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Germany fan has her face painted prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans enjoy the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Netherlands fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Netherlands fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans look on prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Netherlands fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans enjoy the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: A Netherlands fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans look dejected after the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans look dejected after the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans look dejected after the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KHARKOV, UKRAINE - JUNE 13: Netherlands fans look dejected after the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at Metalist Stadium on June 13, 2012 in Kharkov, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
A Dutch fan sits dejected after the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group B match between the Netherlands and Germany in Kharkiv, Ukraine, Wednesday, June 13, 2012. The Netherlands lost the match 1-2. (AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert)
A Dutch fan sits dejected after the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group B match between the Netherlands and Germany in Kharkiv, Ukraine, Wednesday, June 13, 2012. The Netherlands lost the match 1-2. (AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert)
A Netherlands fan cheers prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group B match between the Netherlands and Germany in Kharkiv, Ukraine, Wednesday, June 13, 2012. (AP Photo/Manu Fernandez)
BERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 13: A German soccer fan smiles during the match of their team's second match during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at a public viewing zone called 'fan mile' near the Brandenburg Gate on June 13, 2012 in Berlin, Germany. Germany won 2:1 versus Netherlands. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
BERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 13: German soccer fans cheer during the match of their team's second match during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at a public viewing zone called 'fan mile' near the Brandenburg Gate on June 13, 2012 in Berlin, Germany. Germany won 2:1 versus Netherlands. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
BERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 13: German soccer fans cheer during the match of their team's second match during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at a public viewing zone called 'fan mile' near the Brandenburg Gate on June 13, 2012 in Berlin, Germany. Germany won 2:1 versus Netherlands. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
BERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 13: German soccer fans cheer during the match of their team's second match during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at a public viewing zone called 'fan mile' near the Brandenburg Gate on June 13, 2012 in Berlin, Germany. Germany won 2:1 versus Netherlands. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
BERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 13: German soccer fans cheer during the match of their team's second match during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Netherlands and Germany at a public viewing zone called 'fan mile' near the Brandenburg Gate on June 13, 2012 in Berlin, Germany. Germany won 2:1 versus Netherlands. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A football fan takes a photo during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
A Poland fan cheers prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group A match between Poland and Russia in Warsaw, Poland, Tuesday 12 June 2012
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Poland fans enjoy the pre match atmosphere during of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Greece fans enjoy the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Poland fans ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Greek fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Greece fans during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Jamie McDonald/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A Greece fan enjoys the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Euro 2012 mascots Slavek and Slavko pose ahead during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
WROCLAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Football fans soak up the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Greece and Czech Republic at The Municipal Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Wroclaw, Poland (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
Czech fans cheer before the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group A match between Greece and Czech Republic in Wroclaw, Poland, Tuesday, June 12, 2012. (AP Photo/Jon Super)
A Greek fan smiles before the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group A match between Greece and Czech Republic in Wroclaw, Poland, Tuesday, June 12, 2012. (AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis)
A Greek fan cheers before the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group A match between Greece and Czech Republic in Wroclaw, Poland, Tuesday, June 12, 2012. (AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: The Polish fans enjoy the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Police in riot gear stand inisde the stadium during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A football fan looks on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A football fan looks on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: A giant Russian flag is seen during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Polish fans soak up the atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Alex Grimm/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Poland fans enjoy the pre match atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Russian supporters are escorted to the stadium ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Polish fans watched over by David Beckham ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Polish supporters are held back by a line of police ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Russian supporters are escorted to the stadium ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Russian supporters head to the stadium ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Police in riot gear stand inisde the stadium during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Robert Lewandowski of Poland looks on after the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Alex Grimm/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Police in riot gear stand inside the stadium during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: The Polish fans enjoy the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Alex Grimm/Getty Images)
WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 12: Police in riot gear move in front of Poland fans during the UEFA EURO 2012 group A match between Poland and Russia at The National Stadium on June 12, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Photo by Alex Grimm/Getty Images)
Polish supporters cheer prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group A match between Poland and Russia in Warsaw, Poland, Tuesday, June 12, 2012. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: French fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A Swedish fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A Ukraine fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A Swedish fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A Swedish fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: Football fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A football fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A football fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
KIEV, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: Football fans look on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between Ukraine and Sweden at The Olympic Stadium on June 11, 2012 in Kiev, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
A Swedish fan holds a scarf prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group D match between Ukraine and Sweden in Kiev, Ukraine, Monday, June 11, 2012. (AP Photo/Efrem Lukatsky)
Sweden fans celebrate prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group D match between Ukraine and Sweden in Kiev, Ukraine, Monday, June 11, 2012. (AP Photo/Efrem Lukatsky)
England fans outside the Golden Lion in Donetsk, Ukraine
England fans outside the Golden Lion in Donetsk, Ukraine
PC Andy Pearson from Lincolnshire outside the Golden Lion in Donetsk, Ukraine
Members of the MIGS (Men In George Suits) supporters club stand in front of the statue of Lenin in Donetsk, Ukraine
England fans outside the Golden Lion in Donetsk, Ukraine
A Ukranian Policewoman watches England fans outside the Golden Lion in Donetsk, Ukraine
England fans outside the Golden Lion in Donetsk, Ukraine
Members of the MIGS (Men In George Suits) supporters club stand in front of the statue of Lenin in Donetsk, Ukraine. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday June 11, 2012. England face France in their first UEFA Euro match today. See PA story SOCCER England. Photo credit should read: Lewis Whyld/PA Wire.
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: French fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: An England fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A younf football fan gets his face painted with the French flag ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: England fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: England fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: An England fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: An England fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: An England fan soaks up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: French fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: An England fan shows off his tattoo ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: French fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: England fans wear, Queen Elizabeth II masks during the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: French fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: An England fan cheers during the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images)
DONETSK, UKRAINE - JUNE 11: A France fan enjoys the atmosphere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group D match between France and England at Donbass Arena on June 11, 2012 in Donetsk, Ukraine. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
A England soccer supporter is seen playing darts after they have watched the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group D match between France and England, at a pub called The Clock, in Hebburn, England, Monday, June 11, 2012
Claudine Keane, wife of Republic of Ireland's Robbie Keane in the stands during the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Poland. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Sunday June 10, 2012. See PA Story SOCCER Republic. Photo credit should read: Niall Carson/PA Wire. RESTRICTIONS: Use subject to restrictions. Editorial use only. Book sales permitted providing not solely devoted to any one team / player / match. No commercial use. Call +44 (0)1158 447447 for further information.
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Jasper Juinen/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Jasper Juinen/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans enjoy the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans enjoy the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans enjoy the atmosphere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: A general view of amosphere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Alex Grimm/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Roberta Marchisio (2L) and Cristina De Pin (R) wave during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Italian fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Football fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
A Spain's supporter cheers prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group C match between Spain and Italy in Gdansk, Poland, Sunday, June 10, 2012
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Italian fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
Spanish supporters cheer prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group C match between Spain and Italy in Gdansk, Poland, Sunday, June 10, 2012. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)
An Italy fan holds a national flag prior the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group C match between Spain and Italy in Gdansk, Poland, Sunday, June 10, 2012
Italian fans cheer prior to the Euro 2012 soccer championship Group C match between Spain and Italy in Gdansk, Poland, Sunday, June 10, 2012. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Italian fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Italian fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Spanish fans soak up the atmopshere ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Croatian fans soak up the atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Croatian fans soak up the atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: A Croatia fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: A Republic of Ireland fan looks on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Jamie McDonald/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Republic of Ireland fans enjoy the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: A Republic of Ireland fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
Republic of Ireland fans before the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans before the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans before the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Poland
A Republic of Ireland fan arrives for the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans arrive for the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
A Republic of Ireland fan arrives for the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans before the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans arrive for the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans arrive for the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans arrive for the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Gdynia, Poland
President Michael D Higgins meets Irish football fans as he arrived to meet the Irish Team at the Sheraton Hotel in Poznan, Poland
President Michael D Higgins meets Irish football fans as he arrived to meet the Irish Team at the Sheraton Hotel in Poznan, Poland
Republic of Ireland fans in the stands during the UEFA Euro 2012, Group C match at the Municipal Stadium, Poland
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Cristina De Pin girlfriend of Riccardo Montolivo during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Valeria Maggio, wife of Christian Maggio looks on during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Presenter Sara Carbonero, fiancee of Iker Casillas looks on ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
GDANSK, POLAND - JUNE 10: Presenter Sara Carbonero, fiancee of Iker Casillas looks on ahead of the UEFA EURO 2012 group C match between Spain and Italy at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Gdansk, Poland. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: A Republic of Ireland fan enjoys the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Republic of Ireland fans enjoy the atmosphere prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Republic of Ireland fans share a kiss prior to the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Irish fans soak up the atmopshere during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Jamie McDonald/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: Irish fans celebrate during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)
POZNAN, POLAND - JUNE 10: A dejected Republic of Ireland fan after defeat during the UEFA EURO 2012 group C between Ireland and Croatia at The Municipal Stadium on June 10, 2012 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 09: Football fans smile during the UEFA EURO 2012 group B match between Germany and Portugal at Arena Lviv on June 9, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Martin Rose/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 09: Cathy Fischer (L), girlfriend of Mats Hummels and Jenny, girlfriend of Marcel Schmelzer are pictured on the flight from Gdansk to Lviv on June 9, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Joern Pollex/Getty Images)
L'VIV, UKRAINE - JUNE 09: Lena Gercke (R), girlfriend of Sami Khedira and Silvia Meichel, girlfriend of Mario Gomez are seen at the airport Lviv on June 9, 2012 in L'viv, Ukraine. (Photo by Joern Pollex/Getty Images)

As you read this there are about two weeks of the Euros left — a sentence that has been used frequently in the business sections of papers in Athens and Madrid in recent times.

But while there is a global credit crunch, with the UK forced to turn to torches for heat and light during the monsoon season, there is still enough cash in the kitty to send our brave boys and Gabby Logan to eastern Europe to eek out a living. A bit like Dungannon in reverse.

It’s been largely entertaining stuff, with the notable exception of Martin Keown, the scariest thing to wreak havoc in that part of the world since Vlad was a lad and all he was impaling was his Ker-Plunk, but in the battle in the east, who has been the winner thus far, the BBC or ITV?

Opening titles: A tricky one. The Beeb have perfectly captured the foreboding menace of the former Eastern Bloc, all it needs is the arrows from the start of Dad’s Army to set it all off, while ITV have seemingly bought a job lot of old Thunderbirds puppets and given them a quick coat of Ronseal. The one of Roy Hodgson is the spit of Parker (the chauffeur, not the midfielder).

Sets appeal: ITV get the nod as they’re the only ones who’ve bothered to go to the event with Gary Lineker giggling that the Beeb are located ‘in the very far west of Poland — Salford!” Very good, although they will go later on, having sent reconnaissance party, Jake Humphrey and Alan Shearer — the most uncomfortable double act since Same Difference — along to check things out.

That said, you have to wonder how long it will be before Roy Keane leaps over that ledge he and the ITV team have been perched on to get away from Adrian Chiles and is it me or have the chairs been made from cunningly fashioned potato waffles covered with one of Bet Lynch’s blouses?

The line-ups: A few interesting head to heads, and I don’t mean Keane and Patrick Vieira, although the Frenchman is superbly filling the classy foreigner role that Clarence Seedorf has been given on the other side. He is also useful to translate for Jamie Carragher whose high-pitched Scouse whines are driving Polish dogs wild. “I’m quietly confident England will get a result,” he said, and indeed he was spot on, a result duly arrived.

Keane and Hansen, no not a couple of tracks from Now 65, but the two curmudgeonly Celts are probably the best either side has to offer, but what Gareth Southgate and Lee Dixon bring to the party still escapes me. Others with much to prove include Steve Staunton, Gordon Strachan and Roberto Martinez — and not just as managers.

Commentators: All much of a muchness really, they all sound the same and say very little of any interest with the exception of a few who say far too much and you wish they didn’t.

Clive Tyldesley for England v France was all that is wrong with commentators, his toe-curling ‘Agincourt, Waterloo and now Donetsk’ simply unbelievable, although his biggest gaffe was saying ‘Andy Townsend who captained his country in a major tournament’ when in fact it was someone else’s country.

Also, when the Republic of Townsend are playing can we please be spared the pictures of fans in Guinness hats all having a great time and even enjoying the craic when they’re getting beaten. To be sure, to be sure

Other daftness included anything Jonathan Pearce says (very loudly), especially THE Ukraine, as opposed to plain old ordinary Ukraine and John Champion for telling us that Czech defender Gebreselassie was ‘no relation to the great Ethiopian athlete’. That’s John Champion, no relation to the Wonder Horse.

Co-commentators: No point beating about the bush here, straight to business, Martin Keown (pictured below being nasty). It was bad enough in Holland’s opening game talking about ‘leg-overs’ and wondering why Robben didn’t ‘just pull the trigger and shoot himself’ but in the one and only Ukraine’s game with Sweden he completely lost the run of himself.

We had a ‘goalscorer with an eye for goal’, ‘Ibrahimovic is like Cantona’ (oh no he isn’t) and someone ‘looking unrecognisable’ although Pearce did solve the mystery over the collective noun for big Swedish defenders — a phalanx.

Mark Lawrenson follows closely, we’ll gloss over his Eric the Eel faux pas and concentrate on how Polish-born Podolski should play for Poland and Germany. Hmm, nice to see Lancashire enjoying the craic of being Irish.

Craig Burley is quite entertaining, Jim Beglin’s fine as long as it isn’t connected to anything in green and Mark Bright is Mark Bright.

Highlights: Match of the Day still treats us like we’re all six, so it’s good that Colin Murray looks after Robbie Savage and David James and his strange talk of zones, while on the other side Matt Smith is only a coat of Ronseal away from being in the opening titles.

So there you have it, a week down and it’s all going swimmingly, apart from the racism, in-fighting and underperforming over-hyped stars — and it’s the same on the pitch too.

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