Belfast Telegraph

Tuesday 29 July 2014

Billy on the Box: Final straw for Savage and Sidebottom

The words ‘Savage’ and ‘Sidebottom’ really shouldn’t sit comfortably in any sentence but then again Saturday’s night’s viewing was as awkward as going lingerie shopping with your granny.

We’ll deal with Robbie first. Sadly he has exited Strictly Come Dancing, but even more sadly it means that he’s now free to plague our footy screens again.

I don’t care if old ladies now think he’s lovely, he’s still a pain in the rumba who talks utter and complete ballrooms.

Anyway, how can we ever take him seriously again? For goodness sake, he lost out in a 50-50 challenge with Jason Donovan.

His final score wasn’t enough and over in Broadcasting House things weren’t going well either on local telly’s own live extravaganza of the same name.

Things started badly, when the footy scores disappeared, leaving a less than chuffed Mark Sidebottom to rightly say, ‘apologies for the blip’.

If only he knew.

There were more blips to come than the cardiac ward when Holly Valance shimmies through.

More misplaced tables than after an earthquake in Ikea, there was a missed goal too at the Oval but the undoubted highlight was when the league table made the briefest of appearances and was gone.

“That’s the wrong table, we were going to show you the league table. That’s the Rabodirect Pro12,” he continued and then silence as we cut to a hairy man crouching down in the dark in the Newsline studio.

If Mark’s not on this week I would send out a search party. Just don’t get the graphics department to write for help or he’ll never be seen again.

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