Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 25 December 2014

Billy on the Box: Good lord, Trimble has the Tigers in Ravenhell

Gary Lineker, Willie Thorne, Engelbert Humperdinck, Gok Wan, Biddy Baxter, Showaddywaddy — your boys took one helluva beating!



It was Leicester’s turn to feel the wrath of Ravenhill on Friday evening as the Tigers were sent home with their big stripy tails between their legs in the Heineken Cup.

“They’re a good side, no doubt. We’re a good side too, but if you read the press it’s going to be an easy win for the home side,” said a defiant Tigers’ coach Richard Cockerill before the game. Who says the press know nothing?

The ground was rocking, Tyrone Howe saying there ‘was a real buzz’ about Belfast. Perhaps an idea for an advertising campaign? Ever the politician, always looking for votes but the English just can’t let the past go either.

Sky’s Stuart Barnes was so impressed by Andrew Trimble’s display that he lost the run of himself calling him ‘David’ and then ‘Stephen’, only for commentator Miles Harrison to helpfully suggest ‘Andrew’ prompting a response of ‘he’s long gone as a politician.’ That’s the House of Lords dismissed then.

Moments later a man called Cole turned up, not John, or even Andrew, but Dan, and was promptly sin-binned for talking when he should have been listening, although I think it was just because his beard is woeful.

You knew it wasn’t going to be Leicester’s night when the man with the best name in sport, Billy Twelvetrees (or is it Andrew?) hit the post with a simple kick and by the end of it, like the other Tigers, had been reduced to ashes.

And that’s handy because Ulster are now off to Clermont, land of the volcanoes, where they’ll hope that Andrew Threenames (not pictured) is on fire. If he is, David could have company on those big sofas at Westminster.

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