Billy on the Box: Helen Flanagan double top on I'm a Celebrity
Published 16/11/2012 | 08:00
“I’m not scared of anything, I don’t fear nothin’” — it’s nice to see a man who has faced some of the world’s biggest heavyweights and given them a real pounding still shooting from the lip. Oh, and David Haye is in the jungle too.
Yes, I’m A Celebrity… is back again and the inclusion of Eric Bristow is a work of genius, as the Crafty Cockney, who as Sid Waddell once famously pointed out, conquered the world at 27 — a full six years ahead of Alexander the Great, looks a good bet to be king.
His downfall may be what he runs out of first, his temper or fags, but the bush tucker trials will be a piece of cake (or wallaby’s wobbly bits) for him as I’ve been to the darts and tasted the food there, so a camel’s hoof supper would be a treat.
Haye is the other sporting giant in attendance and he’s started well too. He wasn’t first choice but Ricky Hatton was turned away after a petition from all the animals in the jungle citing fears for their survival. Rather unfairly Haye has been paired up with the less than fair fight with Made in Chelsea ‘star’ Hugo Taylor, who, it has to be said, has put up more of a battle than Audley Harrison did.
Of course, Haye is not the first British heavyweight to have disgustingly smelly stuff thrown over him, as those of us old enough to remember Henry Cooper wearing Brut will confirm.
Ant (or is it Dec?) wondered how Haye was with heights and he said he was great, although Dec (or is it Ant?) resisted the temptation to point out that heights of around six foot seven from Ukraine made him less great.
But line of the series goes to Eric, asked by Hugo how he’d gotten a bloodsucker (he’s from Chelsea, he should know).
“Oh, I ordered it, it came by email,” came the crafty reply and well done to me for not mentioning Helen Flanagan and making any cheap or smutty gags about her having a cracking double top and using a picture of her for gratuitous reasons. Oops!