Belfast Telegraph

Billy on the Box: No Bum rap for Mo or a miss from Swiss

Carlsberg don’t do weekend sports coverage that reaches the parts other broadcasters don’t, that’s why Eurosport exists.

It was a veritable smorgasbord of delights from across the globe, from billiards in France to curling in Canada, hockey in Belgium to footy in Japan and if that wasn’t enough there was a bit of speed skating in Holland too.

Now, I’m not here to make fun of foreigners with funny names.

Well, not solely, but when South Korean Mo-Tae Bum appeared in an all-in-one body condom on ice then what’s not to laugh at?

Of course, his name was pronounced ‘Boom’ in an Inspector Clouseau manner and it was no great shock later that a Japanese competitor called Kato (I swear this is all true) turned up, although it must have been murder jumping out of a wardrobe in skates.

Our Seoul chum (or choom) was up against a Dutch Bo Duke look-a-like and dressed in all-orange — it could have been the General Lee careering down the ice.

His outfit was similar to the French billiard tables — it had no pockets — as Eurosport were just getting silly now and I expected to go over to the hockey to find the goals boarded up.

A cunning plan Ireland failed to adopt as they were beaten by the Belgians.

But the real excitement of the weekend came in Canada and the nail-biting final of the Women’s World Championship featuring my favourite lady curler, Carmen Schaefer from Switzerland (pictured).

“She loves to dance this young lady and if they pick up the gold medal there will be a bit of dancing in Lethbridge tonight,” said the commentator in an homage to Bill McLaren.

And it went down to the final stone of the game, a magnificent delivery by the Swiss to see off the Swedes, and as Bill might have said, ‘they’ll be sweeping on the streets of Zurich tonight.’

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