Belfast Telegraph

Billy on the Box: Old boy Blue Quinn is over the moon

You join me as doctors still struggle in vain to prise me out of my 1977 FA Cup Final Steve Coppell shirt as the memories of Monday evening’s biggest derby in the world ever, finally drift away.

One thing you could never accuse Sky of is under-playing anything but the hype for the ‘unmissable’ meeting of the Manchester clubs was, well, unmissable.

“Described by some as the biggest match in Premier League history,” began presenter Ed Chamberlin, not the first man of that name to make a bold proclamation that didn’t come to fruition.

Even Fergie was at it, saying it was a ‘derby of amazing proportions’ (surely he’s over-looking Larne v Carrick Rangers?), it was a shame that the Reds did a Carlos Tevez on us and refused to play ball.

The only Red on song was Gary Neville although he started shakily when asked by Ed to describe the experience.

“You can’t put it into words,” he said, not the handiest thing for a pundit, but then quickly followed that with ‘the word I have heard is fear’. Good, we’re getting there, one word at a time but we’re getting there.

“At some point tonight, something will have to happen,” he confidently predicted, and then rather bafflingly discussed Tevez’s relationship with Roberto Mancini.

“You can share the same house but not sleep in the same bed,” he said and any mention of John Terry or Ryan Giggs at this point will not be entertained, nor will there by any further discussion of Neville describing Tevez as ‘he was a low-hanging fruit for five months and no-one picked him up.’

The main course was just around the corner, but first we had Neville describing a defensive shape as a ‘spaghetti Bolognese’ much to Chamberlin and everyone’s confusion.

But all this Red talk was soon replaced by Blue, with Niall Quinn in the commentary box beside Martin Tyler and possibly the most biased summarising in the history of football, with ‘oh, absolutely fantastic’ greeting Vincent Kompany’s title-winning goal.

I don’t know what was more annoying, the result, Quinn (pictured), Mike Summerbee or Diego Maradona celebrating. Oh, yes I do, Liam Gallagher poncing about as if he’d scored the winner.

But as Fergie said after finishing his wrestle with Roberto: “We're still fighting for this title and he has to go to Newcastle and get something. I'll tell you, I'll love it if we beat them. I'll love it.”

Or perhaps not.

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