Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 30 August 2014

Billy on the Box: They came, they saw, they wobbled a lot

Did anyone else notice that it appeared to be utter nonsense weekend across various channels?



There was no better place to start than on Eurosport 2, home of the bewildered and dubious, but even by their standards it was a weekend to forget/savour (delete as applicable).

I was slightly worried when ‘Bigger’s Better’ appeared on the screen that I’d strayed onto a channel I shouldn’t have — and I wasn’t far wrong.

A brief synopsis — eight fat blokes from various punching sports gather in a ring in Portugal to wobble alarmingly when someone lands a punch and the last one to collapse wins. A bit like Prizefighter but with moobs.

It was held in Lisbon but I’ve seen better fights in Lisburn and commentator Steve Holdsworth (son of Reg) reminded us that we could vote for our favourite loser. A bit like Britain’s Got Talent, but with less talent.

In the end a German won, beating a big Romanian who went down quicker than Dracula at a daytime stake and garlic party, but there was even more falling over in Crashed Ice.

This involved men in ice hockey outfits running over an ice-covered BMX track but surely we couldn’t slide any lower. Wrong.

I won’t even mention Georgia’s rugby clash with Namibia, or El Salvador playing football but I can’t avoid the Intel Extreme Masters — basically lots of geeks playing video games. This is not a sport. The tournament was thrown into chaos when one of the favourites for the title was told by his mum to come downstairs and finish his homework.

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