Belfast Telegraph

Billy Weir on the box: United don't want slice of Clattenburg

By Billy Weir

Manchester United are a bit like a Dutch Apple Pie at the moment – very pleasing on top, full of treats in the middle but the base doesn't stand up to much pressure.

Match of the Day 2 got in on the baking bandwagon too on Sunday night with presenter Mark Chapman kicking things off in Great British Bake Off style.

"Last time we witnessed showstoppers, some half-baked efforts and a fresh batch of talent in action," he began.

"This weekend there has already been plenty of tasty competition and today there are even more treats in store for us as temperatures rise on the pitch, it's the climax of week five of Match of the Day 2."

All the while the fixtures of the day were being iced on top of cakes and it ended with a caption reading 'MOTD – A feast of football' and we cut to the studio where Danny Baker and Keith Floyd were sitting.

Okay, they weren't, it was Danny Murphy and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, or 'our Paul and Mary' as Chapman referred to them and obviously I have no interest in the Great British Bake Off but at the moment I have more faith in Luis than Louis van Gaal.

Things started well at Leicester, a sumptuous scoop of Argentinian Angel delight leaving a Danish in a sticky position but things went very badly wrong with an unwanted slice of Clattenburg, as the referee of that name caused more controversy than some silly old woman leaving a hairy man's dessert out of the freezer.

Earlier on Sky though there was a different stance by consummate pro, Martin Tyler, refusing to shamelessly plug another show, especially one on another channel, when Frank Lampard popped up to score against Chelsea.

"It's one of those moments that football just seems to throw up – the curse of the ex I think they call it," said Tyler, steadfastly refusing to fall into the reality TV trap and labelling it the X Factor.

Then again, with John Terry on the scene, the curse of the ex could mean a very different thing but that would be a bridge too far. Allegedly.

So, I confidently await MOTD2 to have a Strictly Come Dancing theme this week and worryingly this means Robbie Savage will be on.

He'll hardly be partnered with Alan Pardew though.

Belfast Telegraph

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