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Carlos the whack all knocks poor Ben straight to hell

By Billy Weir

Published 07/04/2016

Carlos Brathwaite
Carlos Brathwaite

Anyone who says cricket is boring needs a hefty kick right in the bails in my humble opinion and certainly the last four deliveries in Sunday's World Twenty20 Final will have silenced the doubters.

Okay, it did take about four and a half hours of very nervy cricket to get to that stage but we should have expected the worst or the best when Sky presenter Ian Ward opened proceedings with this gem.

"Ben Stokes Tweeted a few hours ago that ever since he was a little boy he was dreaming of appearing in a final like this," said Ward, but by the end, you half expected Nick Ross to appear to warn us all not to have nightmares.

The culprit of this crime - Carlos Brathwaite - a sinewy West Indian island of a man who treated the England bowler very badly, as David Lloyd set the scene for the last over.

"Ben Stokes has 18 runs to play with, what a dramatic game," said Bumble, but give it a minute.

Thwack and Carlos the whack all sent the ball 67 metres to Sixville.

"Oh, West Indies, that helps," yelped Bumble.

Thwack two.

"Big shot, huge shot, where's it gone, into the stands," said Bumble and he was right, 94 metres to be precise.

"He had 18 to play with, Stokes to come again, ohhhh, it's three sixes and that's 18 gone, England shell-shocked," said Bumble as Stokes looked for the Kolkata pitch to gobble him up.

"Some people are still praying for divine intervention," said the aptly named Ian Bishop beside Bumble as a fourth six was launched and for those who thought it was all over, it was now, as a ball left orbit never to be seen or measured again.

"Carlos Brathwaite, Carlos Brathwaite, remember the name," pronounced the Bishop, as Stokes sank to his knees and Bumble assured him that he had been 'part of a wonderful game of cricket'.

When things had calmed down and the ground was emptying later, Bumble had more words of comfort.

"I would play a little bit of music, a bit of Chumbawamba, I get knocked down, but I get up again," he said, as Ross appeared and slipped Bat Out of Hell into the CD player.

Belfast Telegraph

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