Glee for classy Paris St Germain and the old lady sings
As I mentioned above the search for live footy has been a fraught affair this week, so I was forced to return to Europe to satisfy my needs.
First port of call was Marseilles, where the local team was up against Paris St Germain, or PSG if you're feeling lazy.
BT Sport were our guides, with commentator Adam Summerton, whose French connections I am unaware of, alongside Richard Hughes who, as far as I can ascertain, is about as French as a haggis eclair.
Mind you, he did play for many years at Portsmouth, so could probably see France on a clear day but criminally neither of them could see the funny side of the referee being called Ruddy Buquet.
A classic emerged in Le Classique, Marseille going in at the break 2-1 in front, only to let it slip soon after the restart and then the shy and retiring Zlatan Ibrahimovic pounced, sending Summerton into orbit.
"Another goal, another landmark, another record for Zlatan Ibrahimovic, his 100th goal for PSG and now the outright top scorer in this fixture," he yelped.
Only it wasn't, as Hughes had to point out that defender Jeremy Morel had in fact scored. Not much room for error (I humbly apologise for that joke).
Hughes did at least prove his worth, so when Trevor Francis and his vast knowledge of Italian football was unveiled as the studio guest for Tuesday night's Coppa Italia semi-final between Fiorentina and Juventus, we were on safe ground.
"The loss of Pirlo and Pogba is a big one but the news that Carlos Tevez is also absent means you've lost three of the most influential players in the Juventus side," he said.
"And I think against a Fiorentina side in such good form, it's too big an ask."
Yes, you guessed it, Juve, the grand old lady of Italian football, romped to a 3-0 win with commentator Ian Crocker going all Hannibal Smith on us.
"Don't you just love it when a plan comes together," he said. He must be a Serie A-Team fan, but one thing is for sure, Fiorentina won't be getting on no plane for the final.