Granada fail to give us last day drama that we and Sky wanted
With the Irish League season now at an end, well, for some of the teams that is, my Saturday afternoons are a little different.
A spring clean helped fill a few hours but, as time ticked on, I felt a need in my loins for some passion, thrills and excitement that only 90 minutes at Ballymena United can really fulfil so, as a stop-gap, I tuned in to Sky to see if Barcelona could clinch La Liga title.
Presenter Kate Abdo told us that the stage was set for a final day showdown with Barca travelling to play Granada, which is near Manchester, and Real Madrid going to Deportivo. I'm not sure where it is but it has a 'port' in it so I'm guessing up the north coast.
Sky were taking no chances of being lost with two channels given over to the protagonists and, unlike the following day, not a bomb scare in sight to spoil any surprises. In the studio there was a man who also never threatened anything explosive at Old Trafford in the shape of David Moyes and with him everyone's favourite foreigner at Middlesbrough, Gaizka Mendieta. Apart from Juninho. Or Ravanelli.
But it was Mendieta who dropped the biggest bombshell, with words that left Sky running for cover.
"I don't expect any surprises to be honest," he said, Kate quickly jumping in to try and keep viewers evacuating in their droves by countering 'saying that though you never expected us to be here today' and, back on track and being kicked under the table, he then agreed that 'anything can happen in La Liga.'
Talking of tables, Abdo then pointed out that 'there is a man missing, Guillem Balague has rejected the tapas bar and gone to Granada', no doubt for some of Isabella's hot-pot on la calle coronación.
There was brief excitement once we got underway as Real scored, meaning they were now top, but two goals for Luis Suarez meant that by the time we went back to the tapas bar it was all over.
His hat-trick was completed in the second-half, commentator Rob Palmer paying tribute to the 'smiling assassin', which is the only crime on a football pitch he hasn't committed, but back in the studio killjoy Gaizka had more bad news.
"They can't celebrate tonight at the Camp Nou because Bruce Springsteen is playing there," explained Kate, before signing off with a political minefield as she paid tribute to Barca being 'the kings of Spain.' I hope you were born to run, just call them the bosses of La Liga and leg it down la calle coronación quickly.