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Haye rocks the weak and punches hole in Dave's schedule

By Billy Weir

Published 21/01/2016

David Haye
David Haye

And now on Dave a repeat of something that used to be big on the BBC but has now been shunted off to a lesser channel.

Yes, David Haye is back, making hay while the sun sets, and you knew it was going to be a deeply underwhelming affair when the continuity chap warned us that the coverage may contain flashing images. If this is the most dangerous thing to expect from heavyweight boxing, then we're in trouble.

Paul Dempsey, a man of many stations, was wheeled in to lead proceedings, clearly having nothing better to do on a Saturday night.

"This is Haye Day (clever) live on Dave and what a rave we have here," he said.

"One thing David Haye has got is that little bit of magic stardust and he has sold the joint out," and this was proven as he took on Mark De Mori, a large Aussie chap who looked to have consumed a joint or two of kangaroo in his time, and made him disappear very quickly.

"On Saturday night winning is everything and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes," said a confident De Mori but the only way that would have happened was if he'd landed on him.

There was just enough time for commentator Ronald Mackintosh to reel off some of the prepared lines he had in his Big Boy's Book of Boxing Cliches.

"The tectonic plates of the mountainous heavyweight landscape have undergone a seismic shift since David Haye last stepped into the boxing ring," he told us but this wasn't the Rockies, it wasn't even Rocky, with De Mori duly levelled after two minutes.

"He's standing stock still and that's not a good place to be against a dynamite puncher like David Haye. You may as well sign up to face a firing squad," roared Ron as De Mori plummeted towards the canvas.

It was all over. David came and conquered, Dave came and had an hour to fill, the only surprise being they didn't show an episode of Top Gear from 2006, but Haye, who am I to rock the boat, if you want to have a rave, Dave, lets have a repeat.

Belfast Telegraph

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