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It's a Black Saturday for men in green as Kiwis bite back in Dublin

By Billy Weir

Published 24/11/2016

Commentator: Mark Robson
Commentator: Mark Robson

After the events in Chicago a couple of weeks ago the collective egg-chasing fraternities of Ireland and New Zealand were itching to renew hostilities, this time not in the Windy City but a slightly more Baltic Dublin on Saturday evening.

It was too close to call on the Sky team, presenter and Kiwi James Gemmell introducing us to 'two of Ireland's recent greats in Gordon Darcy and Paul O'Connell and an All Black captain, with an Irish name, Sean Fitzpatrick', so two-each and all to play for.

The Kiwis then introduced a third interloper, reporter Rupert Cox and things were looking bad for the Irish, surely it was only a matter of time before Dame Kiri Te Kanawa arrived at the Aviva, but the Irish then played their pair of aces, with commentary duties handed over to Ulster's own Mark Robson and scary Munsterman Alan Quinlan.

Robbo is a man never knowingly adverse to hyperbolic tendencies and he had clearly been leafing through his Big Boys' Books of Chicago and Films with Black In The Title ahead of the rematch.

"Well it's Ireland the warriors of Soldier Field, the real Chicago Bears against the irritated three-time champions of the world, New Zealand," he started but by no means had he finished.

"Well, irritating men in black is not a good idea, remember the movie, Agent J and Agent K wipe out a bunch of aliens, then there was Batman, a bad time for The Joker in the Dark Knight returns, well, the Dark Knights are in Dublin, Joe Schmidt played his joker in Chicago, does he have another one?"

Pretty quickly it was clear the answer was 'no' as never mind shopping 'til you drop on Black Friday, the Kiwis, like Kermit the Frog walking into a Glasgow chip shop, were battering anything they could find in green, and marching all over the Irish on Black Saturday.

"I don't know about you, Quinny, I want a cup of camomile tea," said Robbo as the visitors took an early lead and when the second try went in he had recovered sufficiently to browse through his books to wail 'those black mambas inject more poison into those Irish veins.'

"New Zealand seem to be salivating at the thought of Irish blood after what happened to them," he added and things didn't improve after the break as the third try went in and he concluded that 'Ireland were chasing black shadows there' which isn't a movie, but should be.

There was a hint of a forward pass and Robbo wondered if Fitzpatrick had spotted it.

"I didn't see a forward pass and I was sitting right in line with it," came the less than convincing reply.

"Arsene Wenger reappears and he's wearing a black shirt," retorted Robbo but even changing codes was too late, the All Blacks were just too good and too smart, and fittingly it was left to happy tourist in Gemmell to round things off.

"Two weeks of hurt and the All Blacks have bounced back in Dublin," he said, but don't worry, James, come back in 1966 years and they'll still be singing songs about the day the brave Irish bears of Chicago destroyed the dark knights.

Belfast Telegraph

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