Belfast Telegraph

It's simply not cricket as Joe Brolly boxes clever

By Billy Weir

And talking of all things RTE, it would be remiss of me not to record the events of the big day at Croke Park, where gaelic football took centre stage. With cricket, boxing and a bit of golf for good measure.

The match itself wasn't a classic, unlike the build-up which was the usual roustabout affair with the mild-mannered Colm O'Rourke the foil to the excitable twin terriers that are Joe Brolly and Pat Spillane.

Joe had already warned Pat with a shot across the bows, saying 'hold on, you don't want to make me angry," before presenter Michael Lyster's incredible interruption that took the wind out of everyone's sails and rendered the panel speechless. Almost.

Dublin had just been described by Joe as the 'Amir Khan of gaelic football, dazzling attack, dodgy defence."

"Not being a cricket fan, Amir Khan?" began a confused Michael, but not half as confused as we were.

"Amir Khan's a boxer," said Joe, helpfully, and did a wee bit of shadow boxing to help Michael out, while Pat suggested 'you were thinking of Imran.' At that stage, Michael should have replied 'well, I don't know what David Bowie's missus has got to do with it,' but by now he knew the game, whatever it is, was up.

"How much is the national broadcaster paying you for this?" pondered Joe, and wondered if 'the taxpayer is getting value for money'.

Golf was also on the agenda, celebrity Dub fan Paul McGinley, Europe's Ryder Cup captain flying in, mind you Michael probably thought he was John McGinlay and his first question of 'so, what have you been doing since you left Bolton Wanderers?' was quickly scored out.

"You only took to the golf because you got injured playing Gaelic?" asked Joe. "Yes," replied Paul. "What terrible bad luck," came the retort, "you could have had nine Leinster medals."

Not so, as Michael would know, Leinster missed out on the Inter-pro title last weekend after their surprise loss to the North West Warriors. Oh, not that Leinster.

Yet what was the first thing that happened in the final? Hawkeye was called in. You see, Michael wasn't talking complete bails after all.

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