Mo puts on a Masterclass while Colin puts on the pan
Billy Weir’s wacky world of sport on television
And so the European Athletics Championships are off and running and Somalia’s finest, sorry, Great Britain’s finest, Mo Farah, is the new golden boy.
His win in the 10,000 metres was the highlight of the opening night, with John Inversoft so far by himself he may have needed a batch of his own toilet roll such was the excitement of it all.
Indeed sporting cameras haven’t witnessed a fine display of Farah running since David Pleat strode like a winsome wildebeeste across the Maine Road turf way back in the day.
As far as I could make out, Mogadishu Mo was not wearing a pair of beige slip-on loafers, but good to see that even in the European Championships the long distance medal went to an African.
But in all seriousness, Farah has an incredible story, arriving in Britain as a refugee without a word of English.
Twenty years on he would have been made a pundit on Match of the Day, but instead we were stuck with the usual posse of former athletic refugees by the track.
Including Colin Jackson, who had been moonlighting in the build-up to the championships by swapping hurdles for curdles.
He was one of the (and I use the word very advisedly) stars of Celebrity Masterchef last week and he was actually very good.
Unlike another blast from the past in Tessa Sanderson, who, unlike when she won her Olympic gold in Los Angeles, couldn’t whip up something tasty and left empty-handed.
I think it was a mistake to make a doner kebab, especially using a javelin, and even more so when Dean Macey was due up this week.
Given his track record of injuries he would have walked in and impaled himself while an anguished Greg and John were bemoaning the use of so much red jus.