Sky are scraping the barrel as New York take on New York
America is known for its Super Bowl, there's also the Orange Bowl and now we can add the hyperbole as Sky welcomed us to the "sixth edition of the New York derby" on Saturday evening.
The Red Bulls were playing host to City, or NYCFC to be exact, in a match-up that is not so much Old Firm as barely firm, with Sky's commentator cranking things up to 11, or six as the case may be, saying "rarely has it meant more than this". Well, five times at a push.
"It's a young rivalry this with New York City only entering the MLS last season but with a galaxy of huge names," he said, as we all wondered are they not in Los Angeles?
Apparently it was "third versus first in the Eastern Conference and there is the large matter of local rivalry as well" and my parochial interest was pricked with a man called Mena in the line-up. What were the chances of him being called Billy?
No such luck and we were still without a name for the man with the mic. Perhaps it was Clint, but there was no mistaking who was sitting beside him as the dulcet tones of Iain Dowie filled the Manhattan skyline. Or more likely the cupboard they were sitting in back in Skyland.
Dowie did shine some light on the man of mystery. No, not Austin, but calling him 'Dave' although given he sounds like someone who would be in the bar of the Nag's Head, we can't be sure his name isn't Rodney.
A familiar name, or three of them, opened the scoring as Bradley Wright-Phillips, so average they named him twice, provided the "finish of a consummately calm centre forward" and not the one of a man who scored twice in his Man City career.
Two more goals followed for the rampaging Red Bulls before we stopped for a 'hydration break' with Dowie saying it was "mad dogs and Englishmen", which was either to do with the weather or two new franchises in the MLS.
City hit back with a cracking strike from Tommy McNamara, sending Dowie into overdrive saying that "two keepers couldn't save that, it just flies into the top bin" but you're going to get flies around your bin in that heat.
Not to be outdone, Dave, Rodney, Clint or Austin was eager to get things started in the second-half but was forced to "wait for the strains of Eddie Van Halen to fade away" although he never revealed what he was straining with. Maybe putting his bins out?
"So we jump into action," he said as the music stopped but keeping the music alive he was a little disappointed that the section of the Red Bulls' fans called the Viking Army hadn't adopted the Icelandic 'whoomph' of the Euros with Dowie gutted that he hadn't heard Will Grigg's On Fire once.
"Red Bulls on fire, their defence is terrified, it could catch on," said Dave, but he saved his best, or worst, for last as BWP scored his second to seal a 4-1 win that meant they were "king of the hill, top of the tree". You may want to tune in for the seventh instalment of the New York derby, but that really is up to you.