Belfast Telegraph

Friday 22 August 2014

Stan and Jim full of Eastlands promise

It has been a strange week in Manchester, a few days where it really looked as if the Blues finally, after decades of playing catch-up and looking enviously over the red fence, were about to step out of the shadows.

For one horrible moment it seemed as if Wayne Rooney was going to abandon Man disunited and live up to his mantra of 'once a Blue, always a Blue', but stepping out of the shadows is not always a good idea, unless you're Cliff Richard obviously.

But with Fergie's problem with one of his Young Ones degenerating into We Don't Talk Anymore and a possible Summer Holiday away from Salford, it suddenly all changed, and it was Congratulations for him and his Red Devil man.

Personally, I'd rather have Cliff, in the nude, round the house reciting the Millennium Prayer every hour on the hour than Rooney ever kicking a ball again for United, although it was worth it just to hear Fergie's comments about the cows in the fields.

Suddenly Eric Cantona's musings on the world of seagulls and sardines seemed sensible and gave Sky Sports News endless hours of non-breaking news to comment on with endless monotony.

Being the big fish in the pond, or bovine in the grassy thing in Roo's (or is it now Moo's?) case is that the sward isn't always greener, and staying in the shadows may not be that bad after all.

Last Thursday was a case in point. City were at home in the Europa League and fully expecting confirmation that Rooney was on his way, and Five were jolly excited by the prospect.

Jim Rosenthal, so often, like City, in the shadows himself, is finally getting the chance to be the main man and was joined by Stan Collymore who, like another controversial striker, has had quite a lot to say for himself of late.

Jim (pictured) has often been like the bloke who stands beside Nigel Kennedy, playing second fiddle, while standing beside Stan isn't always advisable, especially if you're in a car park or next to a Swedish weathergirl.

In fairness to Stan he does actually have something to say, much to Jim's excitement and bemusement, although he still has to remember to talk to Pat Nevin now and again because he's got a degree.

Mind you, the mind boggles in what though, as he tried to compare the contributions of Shaun Wright-Phillips and David Silva. Old SWP can only be compared to one person, and sadly the wee lad from Diff'rent Strokes is no longer with us.

So it all ended up with a hat-trick for a moody, want away striker, with a rudimentary grasp of English and everyone was happy, even Jim, although a little confused.

“Next on Five we have the Glimmerman, a bit of an action-packed movie starring Steven Seagal, I'm led to believe, but it was Emmanuel Adebayor who was the shining light for Manchester City,” he concluded.

You can't teach genius like that, although if he'd followed it up with Rooney's likely to be Under Siege and On Deadly Ground if he moved to Eastlands, he would have been a God, but once Wayne gets another Fire Down Below it could all blow up again.

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