To be fair, Robbie isn't as Pointless as Joe
Published 20/09/2013 | 01:30
It was a sports special as Pointless Celebrities provided yet another broadcasting vehicle for the once great Joe Calzaghe to prove that he's not very good.
I honestly think if there was a programme called Celebrity Death Row, then the Welsh wannabe would be on it. By the way, BT Sports and Channel Five are interested in acquiring the rights for the show, and I'm compiling a list of those who could go on it, but more of Robbie Savage later.
Joe was teamed up with Phil Taylor, very much the brains of the partnership, against a who's who and a 'who are you?' of the sporting world.
Two nice girls were lined up and thankfully they told us they were rowers who had won the first gold medal of London 2012 and a gold on Super Saturday but question one was a bit unfair – who the hell are you? Not Katherine Grainger and Jessica Ennis, okay, we'll move on.
Then a big gun was wheeled out, Phil Vickery, rugbyist and winner of Celebrity Masterchef, a programme in which Joe couldn't beat an egg, joined by Ravi Bopara, who isn't the sharpest stump in the ground.
When asked 'who was the first female Speaker of the House of Commons and a former Tiller girl?" his response of 'Margaret Thatcher' was unbelievable and unnerving in equal measure.
But even he had to give way in the 'would you ever think about it' stakes by paralympian Sarah Storey, who was asked which former heavyweight boxing champion also has a grilling machine. The answer of Mike Tyson opened up a huge can of wriggling things, and not even partner Geoff Hurst or a Russian linesman could trail them over the line.
In the end, the unknown girls won, seeing off Phil and Joe in the final, ironically a question about Einstein proving their downfall, but as thick as Joe may be, he's is never going to wrestle that crown away from Wales' undoubted king.
On MOTD2, he was paired with Mark Lawrenson and asked an awkward question straight away by Mark Chapman after the thrill fest that was Southampton's scoreless draw with West Ham, which couldn't even be livened up by the Hammers having a Mr. R. Rat in their line-up.
"You were getting Tweets this evening suggesting that a combination of a 0-0 draw and you might not make this a very good show," he said, and was bang on for two points.
For some reason, I can't think why, Savage was asked to comment on a scything, mis-timed tackle, to which came the reply 'I think it's a horrible challenge, to be fair.' What does that mean, stop adding 'to be fair' to the end of every sentence, it's only a small step from that to 'at the end of the day' and then it's off to Celebrity Death Row you go.
He said it four times, never in the right context, but I suppose I can't be too harsh as he did raise a lot of cash for charity in the Great North Run and he's not as bad as Joe, to be fair.