You can't beat a bit of bully... and a bra
Sunday nights with a combination of lingerie and darts haven't played a part in my life since about 1984 when I had a sneaky scan through the pages of my mum's Kays catalogue when Bullseye was on.
I cross my heart (Page 419, I recall) though that all thoughts of sordidness were a million miles from my mind as I flicked around the channels patiently waiting for Downton Abbey to come on.
However even I wasn't quite ready for what may or may not lay behind Channel 419 as Extreme Sports offered up The Lingerie Football League and slightly nervous, I beat a hasty retreat down the channels to Eurosport 2 where, thankfully, two ladies hurling tungsten were not in their skimpies.
The Northern Ireland Open from Newry was filling the schedules for them and the standard was akin to that of the non-dart thrower when Jim Bowen ushered them up to Bully's prize board.
Unfortunately there was to be no home winner, a bus fare was required, with the local interest ending in the semi-finals, so I, reluctantly, tip-toed back to Extreme where we certainly weren't in Newry and the old adage of 'nothing for two in a bed' was thankfully redundant.
The blurb on the channel read that 'The Lingerie Football League is a women's seven-on-seven tackle - you can work out the rest.' And they were right.
In fairness, it's not really lingerie, well, certainly not as I remember it from P419, as the outfits are what would happen if a beach volleyball team enjoyed a get together with an American Football team and got some of their clothes mixed up when getting dressed again.
So the BC Angels took on Toronto Triumph (I seem to remember this being a bra, page 422) and while it may have the feeling that we were only a paintball or two away from the perfect stag-do as hordes of beer-swilling men roared on the combatants with gusto, it is actually a sport.
As Toronto threatened to triumph, the angels of BC (which I imagine is British Columbia and not a reference to bra sizes) turned nasty and shoulder pads and glamorous women haven't clashed with such violence since Dynasty was on.
There are a few changes from the men's game, the protagonists hurling a pink ball but at the end of the year there is one minor difference as the finalists don't compete in the Superbowl, but for the Lingerie Bowl. Surely it should be a cup? Or possibly two.
I'm not sure what the prize was in Newry but as Martin Phillips got to the Men's final, I'm imagining it might have been a carpet, which would look lovely on the oche.
But with Downton Abbey finished I'm at a loose end on a Sunday night again. I may stumble along to see if the Philadelphia Passion are playing the Las Vegas Sin - and no, I didn't make that up.
The good, the bad and the ugly
The good: I really enjoyed Sky Sports’ resident strawberry blonde correspondent Pete Colley’s programme on Gordon Strachan this week. I’m spotting a theme though as he has plans for programmes on Neil Lennon, Paul Scholes, Cilla Black and that one from Girls Aloud.
The bad: Spare a thought for Mrs Redknapp denied a slap-up meal by husband, Harry, after QPR’s draw with Man City. Son Jamie did his bit on Sky interviewing his old man, asking ‘does that mean that mum might get some dinner tonight?’ “I’m not sure,” replied ‘Arry. “I think the fish and chip shop might be shut.” Makes a change from QPR being battered.
The ugly: Phil Neville is certainly trying to break away from being boring on Match of the Day as his comment about Luke Shaw would suggest. “He reminds me of Gareth Bale when he opens his legs like that,” he said. The mind boggles