Bastereaud lifts the lid on suicide attempt
France centre Mathieu Bastareaud has revealed that he attempted suicide six years ago.
The Toulon centre has written about his struggles with depression and alcoholism in a candid autobiography entitled, 'Head High: Confessions of an enfant terrible of rugby'.
Bastareaud goes into detail about how he lied about being assaulted in New Zealand in 2009 and how heavy drinking in the aftermath led to an attempt on his own life.
Twenty-six-year-old Bastareaud cut himself after reading critical comments about himself on the Internet.
He wrote: "I jumped up and walked to the kitchen. I took a big knife and slit my veins. I immediately collapsed on the floor, fainting.
"My friends in the living room heard the noise and came in. They saw the knife, the blood, and me lying there, unconscious and they called emergency services immediately.
"I don't know if I really wanted to die. I wanted to suffer. I wanted to punish myself.
"When you hear everywhere all day long that you are just a loser, that you don't deserve to be there... you try to keep a cool attitude but you begin to believe what people say.
"I smiled in public but, as soon as I came back home, I was all alone."