Gavin Henson insists personal reasons are the driving force behind his desire to leave the Ospreys and join a club in London.
Henson, 28, is on unpaid leave from the Ospreys, where he has a contract until May next year, but is desperate to find a club in London so he can rebuild his career while dealing with some off-pitch problems.
"I had heart-to-heart talks with the Ospreys, I opened my heart to them really, told them what had gone on, I told them for compassionate reasons, for my mental state of mind, I need to go somewhere for the season," he told BBC Two's Scrum TV in a special edition to be shown later today.
Henson has not played rugby since injuring his ankle in March 2009, but it is no longer a fitness issue that is keeping the Strictly Come Dancing star off the pitch. His break-up from entertainer Charlotte Church has left Henson living away from his young children, while he also admits to being "embarrassed" by the way the situation has been publicly played out in the newspapers.
"I just felt a bit embarrassed to go back into the changing room with the boys, the Ospreys, they know me so well, they would be asking me personal questions and I wasn't quite ready for that.
"I just wanted to have a season away. I love the Ospreys, I played with Swansea from 18 and naturally moved on to the Ospreys, that's my region, that's my club. I want to come back there, but now it's in the hands of the solicitors and I didn't want it to get there. It's tough."
Henson claimed it was only fair for him to be allowed to find a club while he was not being paid by the Ospreys, who he said would not miss him.
"I need to earn," he said. "I need a fresh start. I look at the Ospreys and there are about 10 centres and we are all as good as each other so personally I don't think they are going to miss me.
"I just want to play for Wales: I want to play in the six nations, I really believe I can play in this year's Six Nations, and the World Cup.
"To me it's not about money or anything. I feel I've got my hunger back, visualising in training about the game again and I feel like I'll only need about one or two games to prove myself."