Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 17 April 2014

Patrick Kielty: Only psychopaths want to have kids when they’re not in a relationship

Funnyman scotches the daddy rumours

Patrick Kielty

Co Down funnyman Patrick Kielty has rubbished reports saying he’s ready to be a dad. The 38-year-old comedian has in the past been quoted as saying he’s ready to settle down and have kids.



But he told Sunday Life he wants to be in a settled relationship before becoming a father.

“I’m quite old fashioned — find yourself a girlfriend first before you want to be married,” he said.

“The notion of me wanting to settle down and have babies ... I wouldn’t have said that.

“Whenever you finish a relationship and you haven’t got into another relationship — generally I find it’s really only psychopaths who want to settle down and have babies if you are not in a relationship.”

And despite being pictured with 24-year-old Swiss supermodel Alizée Gaillard at the recent wedding of Andrea Corr and Brett Desmond, the Dundrum man claims he’s currently unattached.

“I’m single. I was pictured with my Swiss friend Alizée — she’s just a friend,” he said, saying he’s not actively looking for a girlfriend.

“Of course I’m open to the idea,” he added.

“Whatever comes my way will come my way. If I meet someone that would be fantastic. I’m chilling at the minute.”

Instead of a girlfriend, Patrick revealed he has a mistress — the Canadian city of Montreal which he visited for the first time in July during his debut at the prestigious Just For Laughs comedy festival.

He loved the city so much he even wrote about it on his Twitter site where he described the city as his ‘beautiful mistress’, adding, ‘Montreal u are my new bipolar bilingual supermodel girlfriend...I love u both’.

Patrick said: “I fell in love with it — it’s like an American city but they speak French.

“My French isn’t great. It should be better. I have a linguaphone language tape that I should be listening to.

“I love all things French.”

But he added that a long term relationship he enjoyed with a French girlfriend is over. “I was with a French girl for three years,” he revealed. “A great girl — we are still mates.”

During his career, though, Patrick has been criticised for controversial stand-up material, including jokes about the Madeleine McCann (left) case shortly after the little girl’s disappearance.

The material made headlines after some members of the audience walked out of one of his gigs and Patrick later issued a public apology.

“Of course I was sorry,” he said. “You want people to enjoy the night. A thousand people came to enjoy the show and three didn’t. I’m sorry they didn’t and I apologised.”

Patrick said he doesn’t try to be controversial, explaining he wants to challenge people rather than deliberately offend them.

“I don’t court controversy,” he said. “I met Joan Rivers after it and she went on Loose Women and swore three times. That’s not me.

“I think the one thing you have to do as a comedian is challenge. I have had death threats for doing jokes about suicide bombers and years ago I had people coming up to me and saying I was going to get kneecapped for doing jokes.

“When I say death threats, I’m not talking about people ringing me up and saying, ‘You’re dead’ — it’s walkouts from shows in a very casual way.”

But despite years of dealing with warnings, it was the prospect of playing Northern Ireland football fan Kenneth McAllister in Marie Jones’s hit play A Night in November two years ago that terrified him.

“I didn’t want to do it,” he said. “It was something I was frightened of and didn’t think I could do it.”

But his performances got rave reviews and the show later won new fans when it was the subject of a BBC behind-the-scenes programme.

“Playing London and the West End was very nervewracking because London is home for me now,” he said. “I’ve lived there for 10 years and while Dundrum is always home I live on the King’s Road and I walk past these theatres every day.

“The last time it was such a tough run on the West End and it was like that Steve Redgrave quote, ‘If I ever go back near a boat, shoot me’, but I’ve suddenly realised that Kenneth is like women having babies — suddenly you get clucky again.

“It’s changed my outlook and it’s changed my career.”

Once the show is over Patrick plans to write a screenplay with a friend.

“I’m not saying that what we are writing will be picked up but you have to start and do what interests you,” he said.

n A Night in November starts tomorrow at Belfast’s Grand Opera House and runs until September 11.

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