20% of boys say men can hit unfaithful wife

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By Claire Harrison
Thursday Oct 23 2008

More than a fifth of young boys in Northern Ireland believe it is acceptable for a man to be violent towards his wife if she has been unfaithful.

And more than 40% of young people think it is fine for a wife to strike her husband for the same reason.

These are just two of the findings of the Attitudes of Young People towards Domestic Violence 2007 survey which was carried out by the Department of Health.

The survey revealed, in some cases, a frightening insight into the levels of domestic violence some young people in Northern Ireland believe is acceptable in certain circumstances. For example, 4% of boys believe it is right for a man to hit a woman who has nagged him.

The research was carried out among over 2,000 pupils from Years 11 and 12 across Northern Ireland last year. Looking broadly at its findings, the survey noted more tolerance for violence towards men than the other way around — and that boys are more likely to find some cases of domestic violence more acceptable than girls.

Some of the more concerning statistics included:

3% of all pupils think it is okay for a man to hit a woman if she nagged or wouldn’t stop arguing (4% of boys, 1% of girls)
13% think it is okay for a woman to hit a man if he nagged or wouldn’t stop arguing (15% of boys and 11% of girls)
4% of all pupils think it is acceptable for a man to hit a woman if she is not treating him with respect, while 15% think it is okay for a woman to hit a man in this case
19% of young people think it is fine for a man to be violent towards his wife if she has slept with someone else (22% of boys and 16% of girls), while 42% think it is okay for a woman to hit a man in the same circumstances (with no significant difference between boys and girls)
12% of all pupils believed that a boyfriend who hits his girlfriend deserves a second chance, while 16% say a husband who hits his wife deserves one
35% said a girlfriend who hits her boyfriend should get a second chance.
The report highlighted that differences in the sex of the violent partner seemed to influence pupils’ attitudes towards it.

In conclusion, it noted: “The proportion of young people expressing tolerant attitudes towards domestic violence ranged from less than one in twenty for a man hitting his partner if she is nagging or won’t stop arguing with him, to more than two in five for a woman hitting her partner if he has slept with someone else.

“The survey findings imply that young people in years 11 and 12 in Northern Ireland find some forms of domestic violence more acceptable than others. They suggest that young people are more likely to think the violent behaviour of women towards men is acceptable, than that of men towards women and more likely to think violence towards unfaithful partners is tolerable, than violence towards those who do not treat their partners with respect or who nag them.”

The survey also noted its data indicated boys are more likely to tolerate domestic violence than girls “regardless of the sex of the victim or the situation”.

“The only question in which boys did not display more tolerance than girls asked if it was ‘okay for a woman to hit her boyfriend or husband if he has slept with someone else’.”

SDLP health spokeswoman Carmel Hanna said the survey carried a message for parents who “must lead by example”.

“It is very worrying that these children believe that any level of domestic violence could be considered acceptable. Violence is not the answer and whether the aggressor is a man or woman makes no difference. Violence should not be tolerated in any circumstances,” said the South Belfast MLA.

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