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I have lost my purpose in life

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Thursday Feb 23 2012

Since my mum died last spring, I have been feeling more and more as if I have no reason to go on. She was ill for many years and I gave up my job to look after her.

My marriage broke down, because my husband felt I was spending more time with my mum than with him. But I’m an only child, and she had no one else to help her.

She was often grumpy and bad tempered with me and I don’t know if she ever realised how much I’d given up.

I have no children of my own, my marriage is over, and I have no job. I feel like my main purpose in life has gone. IW

FIONA SAYS: MAKE A LIFESTYLE CHANGE

You gave up a lot for your mother and I am sure she was grateful to you, even if she didn't show it.

You don't say if you've tried contacting your husband to see if there is a chance of re-kindling your marriage, but it may be worth trying.

It may also be worth contacting your old employer to see if they might have a job opening for you.

Meanwhile, it would be a good idea to contact any old friends or other family members. During the time you spent looking after your mother, you may well have fallen off their radar.

Remind them that you are around, and I am sure people will want to see you again. If none of these things work, you have gained valuable skills as a carer. While it may not be the job you would choose, there are rarely enough people willing to fill the role.

It would be a different kind of life but one where you would be valued and appreciated — even if, like your mother, those you care for don't always show it.

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