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My fiance is jealous

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Thursday Feb 16 2012

I love my fiance and I’m planning to marry him in the summer. My problem is that he is so jealous all the time.

I travel a lot with my job and I really enjoy it, but when I get home, I get the third degree.

He usually manages to convince himself that I’ve had at least one affair while I’ve been away.

After my last trip, I found him going through my handbag looking for ‘evidence’ — and I'm afraid I really lost my temper. We had a furious row and I told him to grow up, but how can I convince him to trust me? FF

FIONA SAYS: BUILD HIS CONFIDENCE

Jealousy is horrible for the person experiencing it as well as the person on the receiving end of it.

Your boyfriend may have been hurt in the past, which could have triggered this in your relationship but usually it is a sign of a lack of self-confidence.

He may not see himself as attractive, interesting or successful enough for you to love him.

He probably needs reassurance and to be reminded of how unique and special he is to you.

If you can build his confidence a little, the jealousy may recede.

While you're away, if you can contact him once in a while and tell him how much you're missing him, it may help too.

If this doesn't help, though, then you may have to steer him towards counselling. Relate (relate.org.uk or tel: 0300 100 1234) can help you both.

This is an issue that should be tackled before you make your relationship a permanent one, so act quickly.

Such a lack of trust is not a sound basis on which to build a marriage.

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