Everything you want to know about Big Brother 2017 - but pretend you don't
Being a fan of Big Brother is tough - for a start, society judges you.
So you find yourself pretending you don't care about what a bunch of fame-seeking strangers are doing 24 hours a day when the truth is you care, you really care.
Add that with the fact that you now have to come up with a whole Summer's worth of reasons why you can't go out and socialise with your friends because they just don't understand your need to not miss one moment.
Don't worry, this is a safe space and here is everything you need to know about Big Brother 2017.
When does Big Brother start?
The 18th series of Big Brother UK begins on Monday, June 5 at 9pm on Channel 5 when a large group of loud people will enter the house amid a chorus of boos after declaring they are super confrontational, they don't care what anyone thinks, and they tell it like it is.
Cut to a few days later and they are none of those things, but we already feel like they are our new friends.
Is there a theme this year?
Not content with just throwing people in a house and watching the madness ensue, the producers have decided every series must have a concept.
This year's theme? The United Kingdom of Big Brother.
Simple enough, but could prove interesting with this year's BB eye shows different aspects of life within the UK.
Do we know who is going into the BB House this year?
As the lines between the civilian and celebrity Big Brother have become a little bit more blurred in recent years, there have been some rumours of a few well known faces entering the house. (Of course we use the term 'well-known' in the loosest possible sense.)
Some names thrown about have been one half of X Factor rejects Bratavio, Bradley Hunt, as well as The Cheeky Girls and BB queen Nikki Grahame - who we are pretty sure is just travelling the world one Big Brother house at a time.
Brian Dowling is also rumoured, but we seriously, seriously doubt that one.
Chances are none of the rumoured contestants will actually appear in the house, but speculating in the weeks prior to the BB launch is part of the process.
Will there be any contestants from Northern Ireland?
We hope so! We've had Tyrone's Tom McDermott and former Miss Derry Ashleigh Coyle among those successfully representing Norn Iron in the past, so hopefully we will have at least one housemate to speak of this year.
Has the house been given a revamp?
New year, new house. And this year the Borehamwood site has been remodelled into a 'quaint English country village' which could prove very relaxing or it could just provide the claustrophobic purpose it is meant to.
Will Emma Willis be returning to host this year's show?
Emma is presenting pretty much every other primetime show on UK TV at the minute, so of course she is returning for Big Brother 2017.
What about Rylan?
Yes, everyone's favourite X Factor-hopeful-turned-proper-TV-host will be fronting spin-off show Big Brother's Bit On The Side.
Will there be a Celebrity Big Brother later in the Summer?
There's been no official word, but a Celebrity version of the show usually follows the civilian effort.
And everyone has come to expect a line-up that will no doubt include a once successful Hollywood actor who may have to have a word with their agent, a Geordie Shore cast member who doesn't know how to use their inside voice, a 90s TV presenter (we're looking at you Pat Sharp), and a Loose Woman.
Will Big Brother 2017 actually serve its purpose of being a dynamic social experiment of the modern age and not descend into chaos?
Haha, don't be silly.
Belfast Telegraph Digital