It's been four years since Fifty Shades of Grey snuck its way into the book collection of millions of otherwise sensible women around the world - and two years since plans for a big screen version were announced.
The book has sold 60 million copies since then, becoming an undeserved but undeniable cultural phenomenon.
Not least, it led to the invention of the term mummy porn, boosted worldwide sales of cable ties, introduced bondage as a perfectly normal topic of conversation and gave us all an impolite interest in Jamie Dornan's manhood.
And now finally it's here in our cinemas - after a drip-feed of sneak peek clips and images over the last year slowly built up to mass hysteria.
If its journey to our screens was an act of foreplay, you could describe it as one long tease.
But is it a tease that ends in a bit of an anti-climax?
As someone who has read all three books in the EL James trilogy, the prospect of watching it in a cinema wasn't one I relished.
It's one thing reading it on a Kindle when no one knows what you're up to, an entirely different matter enjoying it in public.
There's also no getting away from the fact that Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the worst written books I've ever read.
So as I settled for the opening credits at a Press screening yesterday, I wondered if it would be just too excruciating to sit through, despite my best wishes for our Jamie?
Or, God forbid, what if I enjoy it too much?
Let's start at the start for the one person in the entire universe who has missed the Fifty Shades hype.
Our Jamie plays the handsome but damaged billionaire Christian Grey who has it all, including a penchant for spanking and whips.
His swanky Seattle pad comes with all the mod cons, including a 'red room of pain', packed to the rafters with paddles, whips, clamps and racks.
Dakota Johnson plays his ingenue Anastasia Steele, a student who interviews him and comes away with a penchant for biting her lip.
There is a romance at the heart of the storyline - but what cinema-goers are wondering is how the director has handled EL James' notorious full-on raunch?
One of the biggest surprises is that Sam Taylor-Johnson has created a beautifully shot movie which has stripped back the cheesy plot and clunky dialogue as much as possible without starting to write a whole new book.
Dakota Johnson's Anatasia is nowhere near as irritating as the original character and doesn't exclaim 'oh my' once.
It's actually quite funny too, with a daffy Dakota delivering some decent punchlines.
But that brings me to two things I can no longer avoid - our Jamie's performance in the bedroom and, of course, the smut.
Anyone going to see this film in the hope of getting hardcore porn might come away a bit disappointed.
Yes, there's a lot of nudity, gasping, arching and mild enough spanking but it's more likely to make you laugh than head to a DIY store.
There's an almost sophisticated treatment of the sex that you wouldn't expect from reading the books.
It's only in the final scenes that the content becomes uncomfortable and very disturbing.
Jamie Dornan is a fine actor but Fifty Shades won't be remembered as his finest moment.
He looks the part, fitting the devastatingly handsome billionaire spec and then some. Anyone going simply to gaze upon the golden torso will go home happy.
His American accent is flawless - but he looks mortified and uncomfortable on more than a few occasions, as if he can't quite believe the dire words tumbling from his mouth.
When he's not whipping, spanking and domineering, he's delivering lingering gazes and intense stares that come straight from the Joey Tribbiani School of Acting.
In the same way EL James didn't win the Pulitzer for Fifty Shades, nor will its film dominate the Oscars. But fans know to point that out is to completely miss the point on why so many women loved these books. And why millions of you are stampeding to the cinema this weekend, oblivious to any criticism.
If you haven't read the books, or hated them, avoid this movie at all costs. If you enjoyed the books, you'll love the film because against the odds, it's actually not bad at all.
It's much better than it deserves to be so get your tickets, get your mates, get a few cocktails down you first and enjoy it for what it is.