Belfast Telegraph

Musician Dean Moore hits chord online with cry for help over his panic attacks

Dean Moore at home in Dungiven
Dean Moore at home in Dungiven
Leona O'Neill

By Leona O'Neill

A musician's moving message about panic attacks has gone viral on social media.

Dean Moore (23) took to Facebook on Wednesday to speak about his journey with anxiety and depression, and to ask for help and advice from followers.

The Dungiven man said he wanted to get better before the arrival of his daughter next month.

He was shocked when he clocked up over 11,000 views in a matter of hours and received hundreds of emails and messages of support and advice.

"I started having panic attacks last November," he explained.

"It was just out of the blue. I had never took one before. I was in the house one night and I took this massive attack.

"I wondered what was happening to me. My heart was racing, I thought I was going to die. I thought of everything bad that could happen. It was very frightening.

"I was in the house with my family, but everyone was sleeping in bed and I was absolutely terrified on my own."

A few weeks later Dean was out in a shopping centre and took another one.

He added: "It was so bad I went to A&E and they did a lot of tests, took blood samples and did heart traces and things.

"They kept me there that whole day. They told me I was low in iron and folic acid and gave me tablets for that. Then I went to the doctor and he put me on tablets for depression and anxiety.

"I don't take the attacks all the time, but my anxiety levels are very high.

"I don't want to go out anywhere, because I don't feel safe. I think: what if I take a panic attack?

Dean Moore with his guitar
Dean Moore with his guitar

"I am afraid of embarrassing myself and that is what holds me back. I feel safer in my bed, so that is where I like to stay.

"Being around a lot of people also gives me a lot of anxiety, so it's a vicious circle."

He said he worries that people might judge him. He added: "This last while I have been thinking to myself that nobody wants me around. I feel as if everyone hates me, no one likes me, that I am a nuisance to everyone around me.

"There are times that I just want to get away, to be free and away out of this world. It is a bad way to feel. It is a terrible life.

"I have been suicidal. But I have my family there behind me and I have got Molly and our little baby coming and that is what is keeping me hanging on. They are all keeping me here at the moment."

***PLEASE SHARE*** Can you relate? Been dealing with depression/anxiety quite a while but seems to be getting worse :'...

Posted by Dean Moore Music on Tuesday, June 18, 2019

He said he was overwhelmed by the response to his video online.

He said he wanted to tell people how he felt and seek support in his hour of need.

"I put the video up on Facebook because I felt the need to tell people how I was feeling," he added.

"I was totally shocked at the response. Everyone was sharing it. The amount of comments under the video and the amount of messages people have sent me is staggering.

"It has helped me. They are telling me their story and what they have been through and what they have done to help them. I am going to use that information to try and help me.

"People are writing to tell me that they love the fact that I'm speaking out. And that makes me feel good.

"Because when you are living with panic attacks, you feel very alone. You feel like no one else is experiencing this thing that you are. People who have never taken panic attacks don't really get how it feels."

Dean said that by speaking out he wanted to let people - particularly men - know that it is all right to talk and to get help about these things.

"The biggest majority of men don't talk, they let everything bottle up and the next thing is that they have taken their own life," he said.

"You have to talk and that is what that video is all about for me.

"It's not about sympathy, I'm not looking for that. All I want is a bit of help, support and good advice to help myself and help others."

Dean said he is setting up a Facebook page to gather together information on what works to tackle panic attacks so as to help others navigating the same journey.

He said he wants to get better before his daughter arrives, adding: "My baby daughter is due now on July 29. I am so looking forward to seeing my little girl."

If you are affected by any issues in this article, contact the Samaritans free on 116123 or Lifeline on 0808 808 8000.

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