12 hilarious Micky Flanagan jokes ahead of Belfast gigs
Comedian Micky Flanagan is performing two gigs at Belfast's SSE Arena this week as part of his hugely successful An' Another Fing tour.
He's taking to the stage on Wednesday and Thursday and if you're lucky enough to have tickets, here's 12 of his best jokes to get you in the funny mood.
If you don't have tickets ... sorry. But they're still funny.
Micky's thoughts on the middle-class...
“I’ve worked out what an ambiance is – it’s a night out without poor people.”
"My wife’s middle-class, she’s been skiing and everything."
"I went to Prague last year with the wife, she said after two days 'Are you enjoying yourself?', I said 'Yeah, I've just paid £15 for two coffees'."
Micky's philosophical thinking...
"I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. And I thought: 'This could be interesting.'"
Micky's thoughts on society...
“My friend told me: 'I spent a year surrounded by people with no hope and no future'. I said: 'Well we could’ve come straight into the Wetherspoons really couldn’t we'.
"When I play Newcastle I do wonder if they think everyone from the south of England is a Cockney."
Micky's thoughts on marriage...
"My wife decided, she said 'We are having sex on a Tuesday'. Well I thought that’s great because now I know I can leave myself alone, you know what I mean. Because you can get caught out, she comes in a bit frisky, and you have to look at her and go (shakes head) 'That ship has sailed darling'.
Micky on dating...
"I took a girl out for th evening, we had a nice time. Course we did, I'm a very interesting man, not just a stunner."
Mickey's thoughts on growing up…
"I’ve been asked to go on a TV show called Who Do You Think You Are? I said that sounds like the start of a fight where I come from."
"I’m of that generation of men whose dads were those proper distant, hard fathers who didn’t know how to deal with children. If you come off your bike and smash your face on the floor they picked the bike up first."
Micky's thoughts on nurturing new talent...
"A lot of comics bring out a support fella who does the first half an hour, then they have an interval and then the main act comes out. I don’t do that. I’m not encouraging new talent. F**k em!"
The all-time Micky classic...
"Are we going out? Or are we going out, out?"
Important show information:
- Please note there is no support act. The show starts at 8pm sharp.
- Cameras are strictly prohibited for this event.
- Please use the SSE Arena, Belfast car park prepay option to avoid queues after the show
- Please leave extra time for your journey as traffic is expected to be busy and extra security measures will be in place.
Belfast Telegraph Digital