Strictly Jay last man standing after Pete given bum's rush
And then there was one - the future of mankind rests solely on the sinewy shoulders of a man called McGuiness - it's the stuff of nightmares for Jim Allister.
Peter Andre's exit last night means that Wanted singer Jay McGuiness is the last remaining man in this year's competition, with the Aussie famed for going to Iceland via Jordan chucked out after his American Smooth.
He lost out in the dance-off with Kellie Bright after a hectic two-dance schedule on Saturday evening - and they say nurses have it tough - with the EastEnders' actress getting the upper hand from the judges.
Alleged underhand actions, though, have been the whispered talk all week, with dancing not reeling so much since Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant had a bash at the Gay Gordons, with Andre's non-exit last week setting tongues wagging.
At the start of this week's show, all chat was of the quickstepathon that had been shoe-horned into the programme to make it last a bit longer and help bump a few people up the leaderboard just to make sure they were kept in.
To allay fears, Andre standing on a grassy knoll overlooked by judges in a depository, came on and with prophetic words warned "nobody is safe." Well, unlike last week…
His dance to Jackie Wilson's Sweetest Feeling was set in a bakery and involved an intricate move with a cupcake that was a nightmare for the diabetic members of the viewing public.
"Two things the ladies love," said senior judge Len Goodman: "Peter Andre and cupcakes," while Bruno Tonioli said he had suffered a "sugar rush". Sweet words, but they were to finish bottom. And talking of that area, it was a recurring theme for the evening, with Bright's Salsa to the Jackson Five's 'I Want You Back' resulting in Len commenting "your bum is bionic".
She began by lashing a glass of bubbly over texting partner Kevin Clifton, with Craig Harvey-Oswald, sorry, Revel-Horwood, getting down with the kids by saying he "loved the Joan Collins-style stroppy opening."
Let's be honest, while studs are fast going out of style, there's no shortage of bitching.
Talking of that, Claudia Winkelman mischievously suggested: "if you enjoyed seeing them argue over a text message - and let's be honest we've all done it." Thankfully, the director had the good grace not to let us see Tess Daly's response to that one, as she was unlikely to ROFL.
From bums we moved to the front, with Craig suggesting that Katie Derham needed to "bounce off Anton's inner thighs, I think you need to explore that a little bit more" and Mr Du Beke seemed enamoured with the idea.
But it was back to the backside again soon after when Helen George's Viennese Waltz earned her a whopping 39 points, and caused Len to utter the immortal words: "Tickle my bum and call me Donald." I'm not sure who Donald is, but I just hope he keeps away from his inner thighs.
George, in a glimmering gold number she had borrowed from her father Bobby (I may have made that up) darted to a double top when she won the quickstepathon too, with Peter bringing up the bottom again.
It's now up to Jay, Len saying he had put on "a mango of a tango" while Bruno said he was "a man on a mission." Which is to keep five women at bay and avoid Len calling him a bum.
Only time will tell if Strictly can keep a good man down. Next week is a musicals show, but with the Wizard of Aus gone and five dolls and only one guy left, Jay will have to hang on with grim life to stay on that carousel.