Belfast Telegraph

Strictly's Carol Kirkwood can't weather the storm as she is forced to dance off into sunset

By Billy Weir

The dark clouds descended and a deep depression set in as weather forecaster Carol Kirkwood finally bowed out of Strictly Come Dancing last night.

Even Michael Fish could have confidently predicted that the end was nigh for Carol after yet another ponderous performance left her perched precariously at the bottom of the league table on Saturday evening.

That she got this far was something of a miracle, having displayed all the style and grace on the dancefloor of a tipsy typhoon rampaging through a small town and there was a certain poetic justice for those of us who have been soaked to the backside because of dodgy forecasts that she was ended by a Bright spell.

Kellie Bright joined Kirkwood in the dance off, which was a bit of a shock, having finished fifth out of the 10 remaining contestants on Saturday with her waltz to Take That's Love Ain't Here Anymore.

Thankfully for her all the judges were clearly more in love with her than the public as after the dance-off it was Kirkwood who was heading off into the sunset.

Kirkwood danced the American Smooth to Shania Twain's Man! I Feel Like A Woman, although it was more like Are You Being Served as she turned up in a retro clothes shop dressed in a floral number that made her look a little like Mrs Slocum on her way to the WI (That's WI with a silent CK).

The cruel among you would then scoff that a 15 could be the only possible result, but she blasted through that target with a whopping 17, with Craig Revel Horwood describing her as "like watching a bumper car ride".

But this wasn't one of Barry's best, it wasn't even Barra Best, as Bruno Toniolo, bedecked in black polo neck and blue blazer, like a cross between the man from Milk Tray and a reject from Showaddywaddy, let rip with both barrels.

"I love you because you are consistent - you are weather-proof, critic-proof and dance-proof, nothing sticks, you are like Teflon," he said, and he was right as she certainly won't be sticking around.

No such problems at the other end of proceedings as Peter Andre notched up his highest score thus far with his Charleston giving him 38 points, including two maximum 10s, to just edge out Georgia May Foote on 35.

It was so good that Bruno completely lost the run of himself and launched into a flurry of Italian superlatives that had everyone bamboozled and BBC chiefs panicking that he had slipped in yet another naughty word.

But from the sublime to the ridiculous and while in the build-up to Carol's dance, a bit like Mrs Slocum, we got to see a feline friend stretched out on her bed. His name was Donald and was presumably often asked about the whereabouts of her pyjama trousers, before we were then introduced to another wild animal - Jeremy Vine - on a horse.

And despite his cowboy-inspired tango to the Pet Shop Boys' Go West having the subtlety of a stampede, it brought the house down.

If only Carol had had the foresight to predict that there would be strong westerly gusts approaching she may have been okay, so in the future forget Fish and go for the horse, it will guarantee longer Bright spells.

Belfast Telegraph


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