Coleen's crisis: so, should she stay like Abbey or should she go like Cheryl?
After revelations that Wayne Rooney slept with a prostitute Stephanie Bell asks what his shattered wife should do?
Should she stay or should she go. That’s been the big question on everyone's lips since Sunday’s kiss and tell interview with the prostitute who claimed Wayne Rooney paid her for sex when wife Coleen was pregnant.
Coleen (24), who forgave Wayne (24) after he slept with a prostitute before they wed, is said to be on the verge of walking out after this latest sex scandal.
Friends have reported that she has been “torn apart” by the claims, while Wayne was said to be treating her shameful humiliation as “no big deal”.
Now a successful business woman in her own right — she has just signed a £2m deal as style ambassador for Littlewoods — Coleen no longer needs to cling to her husband’s celebrity to remain in the spotlight. But there is their 10 month old child Kai to think about and despite rumours of divorce it will be her son’s welfare which will no doubt influence her final decision. We spoke to a range of local personalities and experts and asked what they thought the now twice wronged Coleen should do.
She should stay
Celebrity male groomer Brenda Shankey is married to Jason and mum to Lauren and Will. She says:
“What shocks me is why they do it in the first place when they are so high profile; they are bound to know that the girls will kiss and tell. If I was Coleen I just wouldn’t be able to forgive him. With all the media coverage I would be feeling so hurt, betrayed and embarrassed. There have been so many wronged women of sports stars lately and they all seem to have been able to have a talk and get their man back on track.
Coleen has been able to make a lot of money through being Wayne Rooney’s wife and from a business point of view, if she wants to keep her career she probably knows it will be worth more if she stays with him. I think she has enjoyed the limelight and become so successful through him that she will forgive him. It seems to be the style for WAGS at the moment to stand by their man and I don’t think Coleen will leave.”
Make-up school owner and artist Ciara Daly is a single mum to Jay, (3), and Darcy (1). She says:
“Every situation is different and no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Whatever Coleen decides to do she shouldn’t be cheered or berated for, as only she knows what is best. I’m sure she is devastated and it would be easy to tell her to chuck him out for betraying her and causing her so much hurt but in the long term that might not necessarily be best for them.
They have to live their lives in the full glare of the media spotlight and whatever she decides it is a huge life-changing decision and she really needs to take her time and think about what is best in the long term for her and her family.
Kids always come first and if she can forgive Wayne then fine but if the resentment is going to be there and she stays then that will affect her son and he would be better off with her as a single mum than with two parents who are not happy.
You have just got to look at Victoria and David Beckham. She forgave his infidelity and here they are years later and they seem stronger than ever as a couple.”
Broadcast journalist Emma- Louise Johnston is married to Jonathan Crawford. She says:
“It is a despicable thing that he has done but they are married and have brought a wee baby into the world and so I think she should give him another chance. I think being married you have to try and make a go of it and maybe the way for Coleen and Wayne to do that is for both of them to get counselling. If they ignore it, the problem will not go away.
I am astounded by what he has done. It seems with all these disgustingly wealthy sports stars that infidelity and a lack of morals has become part of the lifestyle. Wayne Rooney did seem to really love Coleen which makes it more shocking. I do think for the sake of their marriage and their baby they should try and work it out.”
She should go
Style Academy Model agency boss, Tracey Hall is single. She says:
“I personally would find it very difficult to forgive something like that and the lies would be hard to deal with.
The fact that he has done it twice makes it even worse. That said though, I think if he had had an affair as opposed to one night paid for sex with a prostitute, that would have been worse as it would have had meaning and I imagine that will be his argument.
If he hadn’t done it before then I could understand Coleen patching things up with him but now that he has done it twice, how can she ever trust him again?
She has her own career now and is well known in her own right.
She looks amazing in the new ad for Littlewoods and I think she could survive well without him.”
Media personality and Belfast Telegraph columnist Pamela Ballantine is divorced. She is in a relationship. She says:
“I think it is very much a case of the pair of them needing to sit down and have a lengthy discussion about what happened and why. It is easy to say she should leave him but they have been childhood sweethearts and have been very much in love.
It appears to have been an appalling lack of judgement on his part. I have heard people say if she leaves him, where will that leave her.
She is quite a shrewd little business woman in her own right and I think she will be very well taken care of if she does decide to go.
If talking it through doesn’t work then she should leave and take him to the cleaners.”
Cathy Martin. owner of CMPR, a public relations company, is married to Julian Jordan and has three stepchildren. She says:
“I think for a lot of these WAGS like Abbey Clancy and Cheryl Cole they forgive far too easily. Infidelity is a terrible thing in any relationship. Having said that, when these footballers go out women are throwing themselves at them.
In Wayne Rooney’s case, it was a prostitute and that shows that he must have thought about it and paid for it and so there was premeditation there which shows that he has wanted to do it.
No one can comment with certainty on any marriage as it is a very private thing and there are lots of things that go on behind closed doors. One would have to ask why forgive? The family unit is very important for children but I don’t think that is a reason for staying together. I think a child would benefit more from being brought up by a happy single parent than two unhappy parents.”
Music teacher and former Miss Northern Ireland Judith Wilson is single. She says:
“That whole scene with footballers, especially with so many of them now being married with children, is getting a bit much.
Someone needs to call them in and give them a good talking to and tell them they can’t behave like that.
I’m sure Coleen and Wayne will have their own talk and come to a conclusion on what they should do. If the allegations against Wayne are true it is very disrespectful, especially as she has just had his baby.
We don’t know the full facts but if he does admit it, then there is no doubt she should leave him. She does have her baby to think about and I’m sure she doesn’t want him brought up in a split marriage and so her decision will have to involve what is best for her son as well.”
Take her time
Belfast life and business coach Ann Rodgers is single. She says:
“It is very tough for people when their private lives are aired in public. So far they seem to be dealing with it very professionally and obviously Coleen needs to make sure she looks after herself.
My advice to Coleen would be to take time to decide what is best and to look to the people she can trust to see her through. I would be getting her to go for a long country walk to de-stress and remain calm in the face of all the publicity and speculation.
It is something which could take months for her to decide as it involves her future happiness. She seems to be a smart girl and very family orientated and whatever she decides has to be the best decision for her. It is very tough for them being in the full glare of the media spotlight and it will be a very tough decision especially when everyone else has an opinion on what she should do.
She seems to be a very good business person and very strong and, as a life coach, I would be advising her to focus on extreme self care and to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.”
Life coach and owner of Life Style Designers, Gillian Killen is married with a grown-up family. She says:
“The first thing for me as a life coach is that Coleen should take a step back and think about what she can learn from the situation. We don’t really know what the circumstances are and I think she needs to view this as an opportunity. Like everything in life, she has a choice to make on whether she should go it alone or work something out so that they move forward together as a couple. Every act has a consequence and every reaction has a consequence. For her to make that choice consciously she cannot be a victim of that choice.
There is an old adage that we only have 10% control over what happens to us and how we react makes up for the other 90%. So Colleen should not have a knee jerk reaction but make a conscious decision about her future, so that, if she decides to be a single parent, she is content with that choice and likewise, if she decides to stay with Wayne, she cannot keep throwing up what he has done.”
... and what a (young male) footie fan thinks
Football fans will just say ‘so what’ as they shrug off the allegations against Wayne Rooney, says Jamie McDowell
Nobody in football gives a monkey's as long as he's winning on the pitch,” said PR guru Max Clifford of Wayne Rooney's ‘playing away from home' allegations at the weekend. And he is 100% right.
Manchester United fans may roll their eyes, England fans may blame their team's World Cup failure on it, but the truth is, they've all known for months. It was the talk of every pub in the land from when the 'Greatest Show on Earth' first kicked off in June, to its boring anti-climax in July. It was the UK's worst kept secret, and widely touted as the reason Rooney ‘failed to turn up' in South Africa.
Well, at least England fans have a new scapegoat — another blame figure to chatter about in order to disguise the fact that they're, well ... useless. And John Terry had to shoulder the blame until now. He's the real victim here, poor chap.
We all like to think that United fans will shudder and be disappointed in wee Wayne. But they won't. Manchester United are playing away to Everton next week and if Rooney scores the fans will still go potty for him. They'll still chant his name. In fact, in a type of sworn allegiance to their team, they'll probably cheer louder.
I know this because, as a Chelsea fan, John Terry's antics didn't really bother me. My biggest worry was whether it would affect his performance on the pitch, not if Mrs. Terry was keeping well. We all like to think we're genuinely concerned about his personal life, but at the end of the day, he's just a professional footballer. It's kind of hard to associate yourself emotionally to a person that has the intellect of a poached egg and the personality of Andy Murray and Paul McCartney combined on Temazepam.
There will inevitably be people who disagree with what I'm saying here, but football fans will know the truth. Those who like the sport will know that news of Rooney's supposed conquest(s) will be water under the bridge already. There will be the detractors — those who eat organic mushrooms, are frequently offended and were picked last for football at school (so was I). It's shocking to them, and another reason to hate football, but everyday fans will just shrug it off. He may be held in even more esteem by some who'll find what he did ‘laddish' in the same way that ASBO teens are idolised by their mates.
His biggest loss will be in his wallet, though many of his sponsors have said that they will stand by him, which says a lot about certain companies' ‘moral codes' when there are large amounts of money involved. But if Coleen decides to take the socks off him in court, he could end up paying her millions.
It's hard not to feel sorry for the girl. The nature in which he told her of the allegations by text message, the fact that she was pregnant when he was said to have carried out the dirty deed and the portrayal of it in the press are all quite seedy aspects of the scandal. She's being dragged through the gutter backwards.
On the other hand, it's all too predictable. If a girl wants to have some fun and party with a professional footballer, they'll surely have a good time. But to marry one? They'd need their head seen to.
When a young man is paid grotesque amounts of money, spoken of as a God-like figure and treated with kid gloves his whole life, it's inevitable that he'll start to believe all the lies that surround him. Look at Tiger Woods. In the end it was as though he had stopped trying to conceal his string of affairs. Half their wives come running back to them anyway, driven by a lust for more money and WAG status.
So what do Rooney's peers think of him?
These recent allegations won't diminish their respect for him, nor will it stop them playing football games featuring him on their computers consoles. They'll take interest in the story simply because they can relate to it — because they know who he is.
People have accepted that debauchery, affairs and foul play have been as much a part of football as orange slices at half time. In the end, even if Wayne Rooney is nasty to his missus, let his country down in the World Cup and he looks a bit like Shrek, the most important thing to his peers is that he's fast, strong and good in the air.