Belfast Telegraph

7 relationship rules you need to break

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If you’ve ever wanted to be a renegade, here is your chance. We are giving you permission to flaunt your rebellious side and break free of the relationship rules you’ve been sticking to for so long. Here we show you what rules you need to break and how they will help you to achieve relationship success.

Forgive and forget

Forgiveness is a great thing. It is something that every relationship needs if things are going to work. Yet forgiving your boyfriend or girlfriend when they repeatedly upset you or break your relationship rules is not a great thing; it is in fact disastrous.

If your partner continuously breaks your rules then don’t forgive and don’t forget. Instead, you need to ditch them. If you don’t then your partner will continue to behave as they do and this will ruin your self-esteem and make you feel miserable and bitter.

Never say never

If you’ve been after that hot guy or gorgeous girl for months now and they still won’t go out with you, don’t listen to those people that tell you, ‘Never say never’. If something was going to happen between you and the girl or guy you like, then it would have happened by now.

Granted, after pursuing someone for months you might find that they finally agree to one date. Yet really, is that what you want? Do you want to have to persuade someone to date you? A good, solid relationship comes from mutual attraction and you can’t force these things. If you could persuade someone to like you then we’d all be going out with the Ryan Goslings and Beyoncés of this world.

Boys will be boys

The saying ‘Boys will be boys’ has meant that men around the world have been getting away with behaving badly for far too long. This seemingly innocent phrase gives people the impression that men have an innate, predetermined characteristic that makes them misbehave and that they don’t do so by choice.

If you are going to break just one of these relationship rules, let it be this one.

Sleep on it

Of all the terrible ideas in the world, this must be one of the worst. After having a blazing row with your boyfriend or girlfriend you should never, ever try to sleep on it. In fact that must be one of the worst things you can do. By sleeping on it you give the bad mood that has been brewing between you the chance to continue and grow. You will also end up having a terrible night’s sleep, which won’t help you tackle the issues you need to solve with a clear mind.

Although you may not be able to resolve every fight before you go to bed, make the effort to at least be on speaking terms with your partner. This way, you give your anger a time limit, meaning that those bad feelings can’t seep into the next day. Thus, you’ll both wake up feeling close enough to face whatever issues you have.

Never mix business with pleasure

When you’re at school you are constantly meeting people, yet as you get older opportunities for meeting ‘The One’ grow slimmer and slimmer. Therefore, why limit your pool of potential dates by vowing to never mix business with pleasure? Although work relationships can be awkward, if handled well they actually have lots of benefits.

According to a recent survey 19 per cent of 28 to 39 year olds meet their spouse at work and 15 per cent of 18 to 27 year olds meet the love of their life in the workplace. Although we don’t advise hitting on your boss or getting it on in the stationery cupboard, mixing business with pleasure can be great if you’re cautious and sensible. Remember to check what your work’s policy is on employees dating each other before you announce your affair at the work’s annual meeting though.

If it’s not broken, don’t fix it

Many people think that once you’ve found someone who you love and who loves you back, then the hard work is over. Yet, committing to a long-term relationship is when the hard work really begins. A good relationship requires lots of dedication and effort to keep it strong and enjoyable.

Therefore, to make your relationship work, don’t stick to the rule that if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. In fact do the very opposite. Be aware of ways you can improve your relationship and be open to new things you can both try to keep your relationship fresh, fun and strong.

There are plenty of fish in the sea

Although there is not just one person out there for you, constantly telling yourself that there are plenty of fish in the sea may make you blasé about your relationship and it may mean that you won’t try to make your relationship work. Relationships aren’t easy. They require a lot of work. Therefore, if you think that there are plenty of other fish in the sea you may bail on your partner when you come to the first hurdle, thinking there are better ones out there.

Instead, understand that although there may be other people out there for you, whoever you end up with the relationship will require effort, work and sacrifice.


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