Dear Fiona, MYy older brother dropped dead of a massive heart attack on holiday and our family are devastated but his wife’s taking it well.
At the funeral she was smiling while we broke down constantly. It makes me so angry now because it makes me wonder if she loved him.
Was she having an affair or is she glad to get the money? Should I confront here?
Dear Heartbroken Sister,
Bereavement is something we all deal with differently and some have more effective coping mechanisms than others.
As we grow older we form our concept of the permanence of death and form spiritual beliefs to help us deal with the inevitable losses we’ll experience.
Therefore, despite grieving, perhaps she truly believes her husband’s with God and so is being selfless about it?
We must go through an effective grieving process with the different stages of shock, separation and pain, despair, acceptance, and resolution, in order to move on with our lives.
She’s possibly still in the shock stage and the more difficult one’s loss, the longer this stage lasts. People go through their grief pattern at different speeds and it frequently causes conflict and miscommunication so perhaps sit with her and ask how she’s truly feeling.