I’ve been separated from my boyfriend for six months and it’s not getting any easier. He is back out socialising, I see it on his social media, and it’s difficult to look at because I don’t feel ready yet. I miss him every day but he doesn’t seem to care about us. We were together two years.
Thank you for your letter. I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing such sadness around the ending of an important relationship.
When relationships end we not only miss the person we care about, we grieve the loss of all the hopes and dreams that this special person embodied for us.
You were together for two years. Perhaps you thought and hoped that the relationship would progress to deeper commitment but instead it came to an end.
Endings are not easy for us. They bring about change that we maybe do not feel prepared for, especially if the ending was not one we chose.
When the person we love leaves us it can impact our sense of ourselves, our confidence, our capacity to attract someone again.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and you would immediately feel better. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix for overcoming the sadness and loss that you are currently feeling.
It is important to experience the feelings that you are having, they are telling you that this relationship was meaningful to you. You are allowed to feel sad, to grieve.
It is important to take care of yourself at this vulnerable time.
Some of the things that you can try include:
For more information on Relate NI, see www.relateni.org