Belfast Telegraph

Disgusted by hubby’s porn stash

Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona answers your problems

Dear Fiona, My husband has always told me he’s not got a high sex drive but last week I discovered hidden pornographic magazines.

I’m disgusted at the idea of him masturbating over these images instead of having sex with me.

I confronted him and he said it’s got nothing to do with how he feels about me. I am considering leaving him but is it normal and I’m just blowing things out of proportion?

Hurt Wife

Dear Hurt Wife,

Most men in relationships are able to compartmentalise this sexual behaviour and it usually has no bearing on their love and desire for their partners.

However, problems exist when they prefer to indulge in it rather than be sexually intimate with their loved one.

In such instances, the man often uses this activity as an avoidance strategy because in doing this, they don’t have to face up to their own sexual or relationship issues.

They don’t have to worry about satisfying their partner, for example, and it reduces the mental and physical complexities and pressures often associated with sex. Implore him to seek counselling with a qualified therapist before considering finishing your marriage.

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