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How do I keep flame alive with older husband?

I’m 41 years old and my husband is 12 years older than me. Until recently the age gap has never been a problem.

He seems to have lost all interest in me and our family life as he sits on his computer from the minute he gets home from work until he goes to bed.

Up until 12 months ago we would have sex four or five times a week, but slowly it has dwindled to once a month.

I have talked to him recently about what is happening but he just says he’s getting old.

Do I leave him, breaking up our family and giving myself a chance to meet someone who can and will love me, or do I stay but have a meaningful affair?

I have never strayed, but I feel I'm too young to live like this. MS


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You are too young to live like this and so is he — far too young.

I find it hard to believe that at only 53 he has lost all interest in sex, if he was so active previously. I suspect he has lost his confidence for some reason — perhaps for some physical or psychological reason he no longer feels as capable as he was.

Alternatively, perhaps he is finding satisfaction through the internet. Internet chatrooms are places where men can pretend to be all kinds of things they are not. Many men find them exciting — more exciting than real life. The fact that he spends all his time on the computer does make me wonder if this might be the case.

You say you have talked to him about it, but have you challenged him about what he does online?

If you want to get your marriage back on track, I think you are going to have to fight for it and I think your husband needs help.

As for your only two options being to have an affair or to leave him — both, in the end, would have the same effect.

For the sake of your family, please give your marriage another try.

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