Hubby has such sick fantasies
Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona answers your problems
Dear Fiona, My husband has a sexual fantasy that freaks me out. I can’t even say exactly what it is because he’ll know it’s me but it involves coercion.
Does he want to do it in real life?
I hate it but he says I’m a terrible wife and he’ll have to look elsewhere to be sexually satisfied. I love him mostly but this is a side of him I really dislike.
What should I do considering it’s my duty as a wife?
Dear Worried Wife,
Such fantasies aren’t rare and it doesn’t automatically translate into an unfulfilled desire to violate another person.
I believe the more prevalent issue here is his complete lack of consideration for your thoughts and feelings surrounding his fantasy.
His continuing harassment doesn’t demonstrate equality in your marriage and you certainly don’t have to offer ‘conjugal rights’ against your will in this day and age.
It’s legitimate to tell him you find it a complete turn off and if he continues annoying you then he must accept that intimacy with him will inevitably decrease.
The concept of unity, not just physical, but emotional, is extremely important in a marriage so you may wish to remind him of this the next time he tries to emotionally blackmail you.